Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Values, Comfort Zones and Growth
I have sat down to write this blog post a number of times and I keep getting stuck - as usual this caused me to pause and reflect on the why. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what values are - they are the rules or guideposts that we use to define the boundaries of our lives and how we want to live our life - in essence they form our identity. When we’re living authentically within those guideposts there is a feeling of congruity to our lives - a sense of meaning and purpose with an everything is right in my world kind of feeling.
It also wasn’t that I didn’t know what my core values are - I’ve spent time working through this and figuring out what is important to me and how I want to show up in my life, no, it seems to me that there was a disruption - a discordant feeling about what I say are my core values and how I was living my life.
Puppet Making (Part 2)
The second Saturday arrived all fresh and full of creative potential and we pulled up to the studio excited to see how the face moulds turned out. Our first job was to carefully extract the polymer face mould from the plaster form using various tools and gently prying away from the edges - the eyes and nose portion was the toughest to remove as we didn’t want to pull too hard and rip or tear the polymer which was still quite soft and malleable.
Slowly but surely we extracted the faces and excited exclamations could be heard from each of us - we were thrilled with how the faces had come out - the details and textures were captured so well. You’d think we were done with the level of satisfaction expressed by everyone.
Puppet Making (Part 1)
It’s funny how interconnected things can be - like my husband finding a puppet making studio that gives classes and is affiliated with the father of a guitar friend of his. Add to this him getting the notion that this would be a fun thing for us to do with a couple of our friends - none of whom are into puppet making, but they were still up for it as it sounded fun and creative. Those are the kinds of friends who are important to have in your life - people who are up for something off the wall and new just to be able to hang out and have some fun together.
Now if you’ll recall I’ve done a few posts about not feeling very creative (I wrote about it here) and I historically have felt all sorts of resistance inside myself when I think about doing something new -
Rising Up
I’m not sure that I was as intentional about starting this year off differently than I could or should have been, but regardless - I found myself wrapping up 2025 with some feelings of unrest and vague distraction. I also found myself spending more time online than I like and less time getting outside pursuing my passion of photography and just being in nature.
I also found myself falling into some habits that I know are not productive or good for my mental health - things such as comparing my images and progress with others - that’s a rabbit hole that never leads to a good place. Wondering what my photography is about and trying to come up with some way of making it financially viable - ugh what better way to suck the joy out of something. Which led to second guessing and questioning the reasons that I get out with my camera at all - a definite start to a negative spiral.
Doing Deep Work
I’ve been doing some reading (shocking I know) about a concept referred to as Deep Work. Cal Newport digs into this concept in his book of the same name and I found myself fascinated with exploring this further (there’s some irony in doing deep work on deep work, but I digress).
The idea of deep work is spending focused and significant time on substantial efforts of craftsmanship - and the idea of craftsmanship is not restricted to things that you make by hand - it refers to any endeavour. In our current culture there is so much emphasis on productivity and efficiency with praise going to “multitaskers” and those who can juggle multiple projects or concepts at the same time.
I have come to be quite skeptical of multitasking - I used to think that I was proficient at juggling and completing a variety of tasks simultaneously,
AI and Photography
First off I will mention that I’ve received a number of notes requesting a post featuring my cat (although I wonder if the messages are generated by said cat - she is pretty smart and enjoying learning AI with Kory) - so here it is.
I thought I’d start out not bold, but just honest and state the obvious fact - AI is changing photography. What do I mean by that? Well there is a whole spectrum of influence from camera and lens technology (tracking systems, autofocus and face recognition software) to editing and denoise/sharpening software - all the way to AI generated images that are passed off as actual photographs.
That’s a pretty broad spectrum of influence and I haven’t even gone into the fact that artists’ work is being used to educate AI programs to produce better images.
Singing Bowls, Salt Caves and Music
I’m sure the title of this post either resonates (sorry for the pun) or leaves you scratching your head. A few years ago Kory started really delving into music theory and historical transitions around frequencies - to the point of doing a deep dive into healing sound frequencies. It was fascinating to learn about the origins of Gregorian Chants and how the Rosslyn Chapel (featured in the DaVinci Code and just south of Edinburgh in Scotland - we visited 3 times during our time in Scotland) featured symbols in the stonemasonry that correlates to healing sound frequencies (do a search if you’re curious).
All of this research led him to singing bowls which are crystal bowls formed to resonate at set frequencies when tapped with a mallet or circled with the mallet at varying pressures.
Annual Pilgrimage
I did not envision that this would become an annual pilgrimage, nor did I imagine that I would even find snowy owls here in Southern Saskatchewan, but here I am spending time with the snowies (snowy owls) for the third year in a row. Braving frigid temperatures and sometimes melting conditions (I think I prefer the frigid temps personally), driving countless miles and spending hours and hours looking for these elusive raptors.
We’re very fortunate here in Western Canada to be on the migratory path of these amazing birds and that they like to overwinter near where my mother-in-law calls home. It’s a treat and a privilege to be able to see so many of them and to spend time photographing the white spirits of the owl family. Each winter they make the epic journey from their summer breeding grounds in the arctic to come and spend winters here and further south.
Imposter syndrome
I have been seriously taking photographs for almost 10 years now and during that time I’ve taken thousands of photos, however (no surprise) not all of them have been “keepers” (that is ones that are worth keeping and bragging about or printing them). I must admit that when I first started taking photos, I sometimes despaired of ever becoming consistent at capturing images that I would be proud to show to others. That sentiment quickly morphed into despairing of ever taking images that truly reflected what I saw in my mind’s eye - my photographic evolution has been marked by despair.
I think that photography is a bit like golf - every once in a while you have a great shot that keeps you hanging on to the thought that you might just be good at this only to come back to reality when the same situation results in a series of duds. It’s that occasional wow shot that keeps me going.
On the bookshelf
I thought I’d do a fun post about what I’m reading as there are some interesting intersections in the books I have on the go right now. It has become a running joke with my friends what book I’m reading as I start many conversations with, “I’ve been reading this book and…..” Before I start I should come clean about a few things - like the fact that I usually have multiple books on the go at any given time - right now there are eight in varying stages of completion and my hope is to finish them before the end of the year.
I actually keep a running list of all the books on my to read list as well as those that are recommended for me to read and yes I do keep track of the ones I’ve finished. Right now there are 51 on the to read list, 23 on the recommendation list and 39 finished in 2025 (this doesn’t count the 8 outstanding).
Boundaries
There are a lot of different ways to define/explain boundaries such as something showing where one thing ends and another begins, or another perspective is the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. One simple one that I like is from Brene Brown - define what is ok and not ok. Regardless of how you define the word boundary, it is something that I am not great at navigating or setting up/sticking to. I’m a people pleaser by nature which lends itself to flexible/nebulous/nonexistent boundaries - leading to me often feeling less than comfortable in some situations.
I’ve been working on trying to be more intentional about identifying boundaries and acknowledging when I don’t stick to them - for example, a few months ago I wanted to go for a photography shoot at Frank Lake which meant getting up early to get there before sunrise. Kory wanted to do work on his studio and needed my help - you can already imagine the conflict going on inside of me.
Compasses and Directions
I’ve had some interesting conversations lately about the future, direction and purpose of life and while sometimes these conversations can be a bit daunting and heavy - especially when the forward path is murky and unclear - I have been finding myself uplifted by them.
I was recently asked to participate in a luncheon for a youth group with members nearing the end of high school and next life steps looming for the students. A group of “elders” and recent graduates were asked to provide a slide with information about their career, what made them get into their career, what sustained them and also what advice they’d give to someone considering this career. It really got me thinking back a few years as I’ve just passed 3 years in retirement after a 38 year working life.
I approached my slide as though I was speaking to a younger version of myself and trying to tap into my motivations and advice.
Planning an African Safari
I have long had a fascination and affinity for wildlife and a particular interest in animals from other areas of the world that I don’t see where I live. I am part of a photography group (A Year With My Camera - a high recommend for anyone wanting to learn photography as it’s a free year long course - check out the link in resources) and a very talented photographer from Australia posted an image of a Queen Green Ant covered in zombie fungus (seriously google this). This fungus takes over the host ant and gradually impairs its ability to function - finally killing its host and enjoying a new location to grow and thrive. I was totally fascinated to learn about this insect as we do not have anything like this in Canada.
That’s a bit of a long winded introduction, however it may explain my excitement to be heading back to Africa with Kory in 2026 - I know we plan these a long way out
Expectations and Growth
It’s ironic that this is a common theme for me in my writings - expectations - disappointment and growth. Maybe there is something here for me to learn - or relearn - or keep on learning. The excitement of the first day of the retreat led me to expect all sorts of amazing photographs to be made in subsequent outings and the morning of day 2 just didn’t live up to those expectations.
Interestingly we’d had a conversation about something similar the evening before - Jean-Pierre spoke of a workshop he’d been to many years ago where he’d been given an assignment the first day and he’d nailed it! The feedback and discussion were full of promise and potential - leading him to think that he understood what he was at the workshop to learn - bring on the next assignment please! Unfortunately, things did not pan out as expected - the next image did not live up to his expectations of feedback
Paradox - Contronyms
I imagine that when some people read the title to this week’s post there were some curious or even confused looks - like where is she going with this or what the heck is she talking about now. I’ve been really enjoying some challenging reading lately which has caused my brain to stretch into different areas that I usually don’t think about or consider. This often causes me to either go around in circles, tie myself up in knots trying to work through things or figure them out - which is a good thing in my view.
I have been reading about paradox (ie., something that seems contradictory or against common thought, but may be true upon investigation) and I really like that idea - the juxtaposition of these apparently contradictory items and then curiosity leading to a mind expanding truth.
Positivity
I can see it without anyone being here - some of you rolled your eyes when you read this week’s blog post title - positivity - yeah right - here we go again - someone spouting off about how being positive saves the world (maybe a slight exaggeration on my channeling of eye rolling thoughts), but what if there was a sliver of truth to that?
Don’t get me wrong - I’m not about forced positivity which lately seems to have earned the moniker “toxic positivity” - I don’t agree with this at all! When I’m not feeling it - I don’t “fake it until I make it” - that just doesn’t feel authentic and in fact I think it masks true emotions and blocks me from moving through them effectively.
What I mean by toxic positivity is when I’m feeling upset or angry and someone tells me to “look on the bright side”
Autumn Colours - Photography Retreat
We’re sitting around a table in the dining hall, remnants of dinner on the table - a water glass, crumpled napkin and crumbs from the chocolate dessert confection. There has been animated conversation as we catch up - four photographers who met for a week at Kingsbrae Gardens (link) in New Brunswick for a week last July - four people from different backgrounds and with different interests - at different stages of life and photography - and yet here we were - reunited for a week long photography retreat at a small resort in the Eastern Townships about an hour and half east of Montreal.
Jean-Pierre taking a lead and asking each of us - Why are you here? What do you want to get out of this week together? What will bring value to your time here together?
Hopefulness
I feel like I bandy this word around (as do most people I know) far too freely - we hope that we win the lottery (guess I’d actually have to buy a ticket to realize that hope) - we hope that we do well in school, work, relationships and we hope for some purpose or meaning to this life. Now that is a pretty broad range of hope. It is defined as an optimistic emotional state characterized by the desire for a positive outcome with a belief in its possibility or likelihood, but I also found this definition a feeling of trust. Wow that made me stop for a second - it actually gave me chills.
Somehow that feels more connected and meaningful for me - it resonates more than having an expectation of a positive outcome - which feels flatter and more transactional to me. A feeling of trust - well for me, trust is all about vulnerability and connection. This makes hope seem more active to me whereas the first definition seems more passive - and let’s face it - I like to dive in rather than sit on the sidelines waiting for things to happen.
Switching Gears - Getting Creative
It’s no wonder that I’ve been in a bit of a creative dry spell with the 104 days of renovations occurring this summer. It’s hard to carve out time for self care let alone creative pursuits, however I did a few things to try and make sure that all was not totally lost and I think that it helped me to switch off from the stress of the renovation chaos at times.
I started working with a bird photography coach and this was really helpful for getting me out and about during the early days of the summer and then we switched gears to editing and Isaac showed me some great new work flow ideas that I have yet to fully utilize. I’m afraid that during the final days of renovations and setting the house back up that things got a bit too chaotic for me to continue, so I put things on hold for the month of September and now I need to get back into these sessions.
Haida Gwaii - cultural perspective
It has been a little over a month since we visited Haida Gwaii and I have purposely held off on writing this post because I found that when we returned my thoughts were all in a muddle with what felt like snippets of visual images and impressions that seemed more like a kaleidoscope of colours, shapes and patterns whirling through my mind. I wanted to allow some time for these thoughts to settle into more coherent and cohesive ideas before sitting down to write about it.
Needless to say, I found the time we spent in Gwaii Hannas National Park to be very impactful from a spiritual connection perspective - so what does that mean to me? Well it means that when we visited different locations I often found myself overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and connection to the nature around me. There was a lushness and richness to the landscape and I think that my images reflect this feeling of connection as they are full of bold colours and amazing light (see Haida Gwaii gallery).