Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Taking Time For Me
I’m not sure when I first realized that I was putting myself incredibly low on my priority list - powering through to meet everyone else’s expectations (or what I believed to be everyone else's expectations) and then hitting a wall and not being able function effectively. This yo-yo/rollercoaster way of getting through the week really took its toll over time. I felt perpetually exhausted with low energy and at times I would just have to shut down and allow my energy levels to come back to a functioning level.
Everything is good until suddenly…..things go off the rails and eruptions occur like this geyser. (EXIF data f7.1, 1/1250s, 200mm, ISO400, -1.0EV)
It took a long time for me to really understand that by not prioritizing myself resulted in me not being much use to anyone - especially me.
Coming Out Of The Shadows
A few years ago I joined an online photography community ( A Year With My Camera) and I found such inspiration and camaraderie among the members. During that time I stumbled across the concept of liminal spaces (defined as a place or state of transition - the “in-between” moments where you are no longer where you were, but not yet where you are going). This concept intrigued me and I started to see liminal spaces all over the place - which led me to photographing them to try and capture that feeling of transition. I wrote about it in this blog post.
Little did I know at the time that this rabbit hole was going to lead me to all sorts of self discoveries that changed the way I view myself and my world. I love the mystery of liminal spaces - the not knowing where they lead or where I will end up.
Extremes/Cold Plunge
I’ve often said that I have a tendency to an all or nothing mentality and by that I mean that I’ve got to give 100% or I’m not doing it - that perfectionist approach that has the potential to be so limiting. That all or nothing mentality is also what causes me to grin and bear it - power through - whatever way you want to say it - I can ignore pretty much anything going on inside of me and just focus on the end goal. Needless to say there are occasions when that results in a total breakdown of some part of me (getting sick is a big one, back spasms or other sundry aches and pains). I think it’s my body’s way of saying - you should have listened to us in the first place, but since you didn’t we’re letting you know that we’re on strike for the foreseeable future.
Backyard Safari
I have been working through a 52 week creative photography course which has helped me to develop/hone some new creative concepts and stay engaged and inspired throughout the year. Week 46 of 52 was about storytelling and featured the prompt Backyard Safari. I liked the idea of this prompt as it encouraged me to view my backyard in a different manner - with fresh eyes - curious to showcase what I see - trying to present it in a different perspective.
One of the things I liked best about this prompt is that it encouraged me to stay close to home and not feel that I needed to venture to some new exotic place in order to find something photo-worthy.
Editing An Image
I thought that I’d take a blog to go through some editing that I did with my Zambia images as I spent some time with Michael and learned a few new tricks. He also helped me to remind myself not to be so lazy and short cut on editing - sometimes I’m not the keenest editor, but it can make such a difference.
I’ll start by saying that if you shoot raw format images (asI do) - you will have to edit your images as they come out of the camera rather flat looking. This is on purpose as the camera has not applied any editing to the image - all the information is preserved and it’s up to the photographer to edit the image. Jpeg images on the other hand have computer applied edits to them and are often quite good - unless you’re working on a more dramatic edit.
The Why Rather Than the What or How
I have just finished a week at a photography retreat in Kingsbrae Gardens, New Brunswick with Freeman Patterson. This is my second time attending this retreat and I have again found myself to be inspired, uplifted and just moved to a new place in understanding why I do what I do with my camera.
The week is not a workshop - there is no learning new technique or trying to understand the technicalities of my camera or craft - it is about delving into the Why. The week is filled with conversations, visits to artists working in different media and open time to spend photographing in the gardens or around town - any way we wish to use the time.
Judgment
My knee jerk response is no - I’m a pretty accepting and open person who really frowns on being judgy, but if I’m being perfectly honest with myself - I do it in subtle ways that can sometimes fool me into thinking that I don’t.
I came to this realization recently on our Zambian safari trip. It’s always interesting to observe the interactions and dynamics when strangers put together by circumstances (chosen vacation location) first meet and start up conversations. There is the initial pleasantries and then the inevitable where are you from, what do you do for a living, do you have children (I always feel judged when I answer no), have you been on safari before and what are you hoping to see?
Grounded or Floating
I think that we all have a go to or more natural state - at least I know that I do. When I was in university I learned about entropy (thermodynamics was not my favourite subject, but this I do remember) - without exerting external force, systems tend to move towards states of higher disorder. Think of most teenagers’ rooms - those clothes and books and junk don’t miraculously put themselves away.
I think that it is similar for my current preference of resting state - in the absence of me exerting effort to maintain an organized and orderly schedule, I tend to feel like everything gets wildly out of control. In fact I like to think of myself as a homebody - one who enjoys a routine and familiar surroundings and people.
Scarcity Mindset
The strict definition of scarcity is when demand for something outstrips supply or the basic premise that there is a finite amount of human and non human resources, so at some point there will be a shortage. This term has come to be associated increasingly with our mental condition and is often referred to as the scarcity mindset which is a belief that resources we rely on to live and survive (e.g., money, time, love or opportunities) are limited and less than is required to satisfy our needs. This results in a focus on what is lacking - much like the gap in the term the gap versus the gain which I wrote about in this post- the focus is on what I don’t have (whether it is real or significant) rather than what I do have. I like to think of this as the opposite of the gratitude mindset which is when I am grateful for the abundance of the wonderful things in my life rather than focusing on what is missing.
Rituals - Why They Can be so Important
A ritual is defined as a structured or repeated sequence of acts with a formal component to them. They can be seen as transitions or rites of passage such as weddings, funerals or graduations. Participating in rituals can be very grounding or help reduce anxiety, or even shift internal focus or perceptions. They can also form an important component of social bonding as people who share rituals have a common point of reference.
We often create personal or informal rituals such as morning coffee to start our workdays, or clearing email inboxes, or brushing teeth and relaxing in preparation for bedtime.
Being Present, What and How We See
I feel like this term gets thrown around a lot these days and in some ways it is losing its impact and meaning for me from overuse or casual use. A google definition of being fully present states that your mind, body and emotions are completely engaged in the present moment, but what does that mean exactly? To me it means that I’m not allowing distractions to take over the moment - I’m aware enough to know when my mind starts to wander and I can effectively bring myself back to the moment. I think for me that is the distinction - when I hear some people talk about being fully present, I get a sense that they are implying that you can totally block out everything but the present moment and I don’t think that as humans we’re wired to do that - at least I’m certainly not.
Exploring the Lower Zambezi
After spending 5 wonderful nights in South Luangwa exploring the area on game drives and through a walking safari we moved on to the second location of our safari adventure - the Lower Zambezi. This is a much different area as the water levels are controlled by a dam whereas the Luangwa River remains a naturally regulating water course resulting in significant water level changes throughout the year.
The safari adventure transition started with a drive to the Mfuwe Airport with a stop at a few local shops looking for the green tomato chutney we had become addicted to at Mwamba.
Finding Creative Inspiration
Well there’s a loaded question! Do I go after what is inspiring or what is creativity? Actually, I attended a photography talk by David DuChemin at the new Calgary Library in the east village downtown December 2024. It’s an amazing building with interesting architecture and design elements. Spending time there made me itchy to grab my camera and explore the lines and curves. Maybe that alone is inspiration - something that compels me to take action and get out of my head and get creative.
I’ve long been a fan of David DuChemin’s photography and writing - he has a number of photography books which often feel more like books on life and the creative process than strictly photography - so they are applicable to any creative pursuit.
First Impressions of Zambia
Well we’ve survived our 20+ hour flights to South Africa and we spent some time with the Wild Eye team. This is the company that we’ve used for our safari tours and I cannot speak too highly of them and their support in the planning and booking process. They take care of all of the details that make for an enjoyable and smooth trip, plus we have the added peace of mind knowing that we have support should we need it in case anything doesn’t go to plan (I’ve travelled to Iceland and Kory and I have visited Kenya and now Zambia with Wild Eye).
It was lovely to meet Tanya, Caitlin and Judy - just a few members of the logistics team who have helped us with booking trips. Being able to put faces to names when all communications have been via email or WhatsApp messages really helps.
Community
I was challenged recently to think about the communities I have lived in and the communities that I have passed through. What were some key characteristics of them and how did I feel being in them?
There are so many different kinds of communities that are linked to geographical circumstances and cultural practices. In North America where we have so much space there are communities that are spread wide apart with lots of space between properties - providing privacy, but also isolation. People with garages behind their homes or attached to them have the further challenge that they can enter and exit their abode without having to come in contact with anyone. Contrast this with other neighbourhoods where people live in row houses or condos with communal walls or floors/ceilings. There can be a definite lack of privacy, but also more interaction and community. There are also new communities being built around communal green spaces to encourage interactions.
Bluebird Season
This is the busy time of year for the bluebirds and for monitoring their activity - exciting times too. As I’ve mentioned before the bluebirds return from their winter homes in early to mid March and they start building nests in earnest by the beginning of May. Once the nest is built and shaped to a perfect cup the female loses the feathers on her abdomen - called a brood patch - which enables her to transfer maximum body heat to the eggs after she lays them.
Once the nest is finished she starts laying eggs - one a day for 5 - 7 days and two weeks after the last one is laid they start to hatch all on the same day! This is when the real work begins - constant feeding for both the male and the female while the little ones form feathers and grow big enough to fledge from the nest some 18-21 days after hatching. What a an amazing cycle to be able to witness and collect data from.
How to Tell a Good Story With My Life
I know that is an odd way to start this post, but in effect that is how the idea for this whole post started. Kory and I have been working on getting out of our comfort zone a bit more and just getting out more which includes actually coming up with date night or date day ideas. Full disclosure - he excels at this so much better than I do (for example the puppet making workshop was his idea). When he suggested that we attend a workshop titled (How to Tell a Good Story With Your Life) we thought it was about writing and that it would be a cool thing to attend on a Saturday morning.
Boy were we wrong about the topic, but I digress. We showed up at the venue where there were about 8 or 9 other people (Kory had gone to a workshop put on by the facilitator (Val) previously and enjoyed it - a setting your intentions for the New Year sort of thing).
Elders’ Wisdom
I do love when the universe feels the need to provide me with a strong life lesson and there is no warning that it is coming my way. These lessons tend to knock me on the head and get my attention - quickly. When I take the time to stop and really pay attention then the lesson tends to go easier, however I must admit to rarely being wise enough to do that.
I’m more of a quickly assess the facts and take action kind of woman - yes this habit has gotten me in trouble a time or two and I’ve been working on slowing down and being more intentional about what actions (if any) I take. Slowing down, getting curious and spending more time gathering facts tends to change the way I view a situation and how I go about responding.
Mountain Bluebird Season
For the last four years between April and August I have been fascinated with small vividly blue migratory birds - yes mountain bluebirds. During this timeframe they fly back to Alberta from their wintering grounds in the southern US and northern Mexico. It is a long way for these small birds to travel and their return to this area is specifically for nesting and raising new generations of mountain bluebirds.
I was able to get out this week and do a nest box monitoring run to see if they have started nest building. The last time I was out was towards the end of April and I saw a number of mountain bluebirds, but with the changeable weather that included snow and cold spells - there was no nest building happening.
Getting Ready for an African Safari
We have been anticipating our upcoming trip to Zambia which feels like it’s been in the planning stages for a long time (likely because we started over 2 years ago now). These trips tend to need a long lead time for planning and scheduling in order to get spaces in the locations we want. Kory and I prefer to stay in smaller and rustic locations in order to allow us to experience a more natural and low key atmosphere.
We’ll be partnering with our same guide (Michael Laubscher) and Wild Eyesfor the logistics and planning of this trip. It is such a positive experience to work with this team and not have to worry about whether our plans will come together smoothly or not. They have also been extremely helpful to make suggestions of locations that will fit with our style and approach to travel. They did such a great job when we planned our trip to Kenya so I can’t wait for Zambia.