Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Singing Bowls, Salt Caves and Music
I’m sure the title of this post either resonates (sorry for the pun) or leaves you scratching your head. A few years ago Kory started really delving into music theory and historical transitions around frequencies - to the point of doing a deep dive into healing sound frequencies. It was fascinating to learn about the origins of Gregorian Chants and how the Rosslyn Chapel (featured in the DaVinci Code and just south of Edinburgh in Scotland - we visited 3 times during our time in Scotland) featured symbols in the stonemasonry that correlates to healing sound frequencies (do a search if you’re curious).
All of this research led him to singing bowls which are crystal bowls formed to resonate at set frequencies when tapped with a mallet or circled with the mallet at varying pressures.
Annual Pilgrimage
I did not envision that this would become an annual pilgrimage, nor did I imagine that I would even find snowy owls here in Southern Saskatchewan, but here I am spending time with the snowies (snowy owls) for the third year in a row. Braving frigid temperatures and sometimes melting conditions (I think I prefer the frigid temps personally), driving countless miles and spending hours and hours looking for these elusive raptors.
We’re very fortunate here in Western Canada to be on the migratory path of these amazing birds and that they like to overwinter near where my mother-in-law calls home. It’s a treat and a privilege to be able to see so many of them and to spend time photographing the white spirits of the owl family. Each winter they make the epic journey from their summer breeding grounds in the arctic to come and spend winters here and further south.
Finding Peace
I must admit that writing about my mum’s battle with dementia was quite emotionally challenging, however the response that I received was very heart warming. I had people sharing similar experiences and how it affected their families, ideas and thoughts of how they’ve navigated the challenges of care giving or being long distance care givers. It was a post that really felt like it resonated for many and created some lovely connections which I really appreciated.
Since that blog post I have had all sorts of thoughts of things that I would have liked to have included, but I either didn’t think of them, or I was concerned about the length of the post. I’ve decided to do a follow up post and talk about some of those things and some of the new things that I’ve been looking into around dementia.
Country Living
We’ve been living “in the country” - well let’s be honest we’re just outside of the city limits - for about 18 months now and while we’ve spent a lot of the time in renovation/chaos mode, I feel like I’ve spent enough time in the new living situation to appreciate some of the differences from living within walking distance of the city centre. I thought I’d write about what it’s been like - the good the bad and the unexpected.
There are a number of things that we got right with this move and for the most part I would say that we did a good job anticipating the differences/challenges that we’d face, but there were still a few surprises that neither one of us saw coming. One of the big drivers for this move was to be closer to nature and be able to spend time enjoying the peace and quiet away from the hustle and bustle of inner city living.
Year End Reflections
December 18th was the last strength training session for my amazing class with our trainer Erin and my fellow senior ladies. It’s been a challenging year with various group members experiencing injuries - mine has been a prolonged elbow strain.
We’ve trained hard and reached all sorts of new PR’s (Personal Records) as we’ve focused on improving core strength, balance, cardio and muscle development. I really appreciate Erin’s approach which is very well rounded with a particular focus on good form and preventing injuries. I wrote about my strength training journey hereas well as my 2025 goals.
I had set a stretch goal of being able to do proper push ups (10 was the target), dead lift 200 lbs and do a pull up.
Imposter syndrome
I have been seriously taking photographs for almost 10 years now and during that time I’ve taken thousands of photos, however (no surprise) not all of them have been “keepers” (that is ones that are worth keeping and bragging about or printing them). I must admit that when I first started taking photos, I sometimes despaired of ever becoming consistent at capturing images that I would be proud to show to others. That sentiment quickly morphed into despairing of ever taking images that truly reflected what I saw in my mind’s eye - my photographic evolution has been marked by despair.
I think that photography is a bit like golf - every once in a while you have a great shot that keeps you hanging on to the thought that you might just be good at this only to come back to reality when the same situation results in a series of duds. It’s that occasional wow shot that keeps me going.
On the bookshelf
I thought I’d do a fun post about what I’m reading as there are some interesting intersections in the books I have on the go right now. It has become a running joke with my friends what book I’m reading as I start many conversations with, “I’ve been reading this book and…..” Before I start I should come clean about a few things - like the fact that I usually have multiple books on the go at any given time - right now there are eight in varying stages of completion and my hope is to finish them before the end of the year.
I actually keep a running list of all the books on my to read list as well as those that are recommended for me to read and yes I do keep track of the ones I’ve finished. Right now there are 51 on the to read list, 23 on the recommendation list and 39 finished in 2025 (this doesn’t count the 8 outstanding).
Boundaries
There are a lot of different ways to define/explain boundaries such as something showing where one thing ends and another begins, or another perspective is the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. One simple one that I like is from Brene Brown - define what is ok and not ok. Regardless of how you define the word boundary, it is something that I am not great at navigating or setting up/sticking to. I’m a people pleaser by nature which lends itself to flexible/nebulous/nonexistent boundaries - leading to me often feeling less than comfortable in some situations.
I’ve been working on trying to be more intentional about identifying boundaries and acknowledging when I don’t stick to them - for example, a few months ago I wanted to go for a photography shoot at Frank Lake which meant getting up early to get there before sunrise. Kory wanted to do work on his studio and needed my help - you can already imagine the conflict going on inside of me.
In the waiting
I’ve had a very impactful few weeks where some random interactions have left their mark on me and I’ve continued to think about them long after spending time with these people. Two very good friends are having a tough time - suffering - and there is very little that I can do (I hate feeling helpless!). My first reaction/response is to try and fix it - help them - make it better, but I can’t. However, there are things that I can do like offer support - let them know I care and am thinking of them. These are small things, but maybe they matter more than the big grand gestures.
I have been sending one friend random texts of photos that I’ve taken - just something to distract her or let her know I’m thinking of her. More than anything it’s that connection - that knowing we’re not alone that I think is important. Or perhaps I’m annoying the heck out of her and she’s too Canadian to tell me to quit it - I don’t think that is likely, but the thought does occur to me.
Compasses and Directions
I’ve had some interesting conversations lately about the future, direction and purpose of life and while sometimes these conversations can be a bit daunting and heavy - especially when the forward path is murky and unclear - I have been finding myself uplifted by them.
I was recently asked to participate in a luncheon for a youth group with members nearing the end of high school and next life steps looming for the students. A group of “elders” and recent graduates were asked to provide a slide with information about their career, what made them get into their career, what sustained them and also what advice they’d give to someone considering this career. It really got me thinking back a few years as I’ve just passed 3 years in retirement after a 38 year working life.
I approached my slide as though I was speaking to a younger version of myself and trying to tap into my motivations and advice.
Planning an African Safari
I have long had a fascination and affinity for wildlife and a particular interest in animals from other areas of the world that I don’t see where I live. I am part of a photography group (A Year With My Camera - a high recommend for anyone wanting to learn photography as it’s a free year long course - check out the link in resources) and a very talented photographer from Australia posted an image of a Queen Green Ant covered in zombie fungus (seriously google this). This fungus takes over the host ant and gradually impairs its ability to function - finally killing its host and enjoying a new location to grow and thrive. I was totally fascinated to learn about this insect as we do not have anything like this in Canada.
That’s a bit of a long winded introduction, however it may explain my excitement to be heading back to Africa with Kory in 2026 - I know we plan these a long way out
Expectations and Growth
It’s ironic that this is a common theme for me in my writings - expectations - disappointment and growth. Maybe there is something here for me to learn - or relearn - or keep on learning. The excitement of the first day of the retreat led me to expect all sorts of amazing photographs to be made in subsequent outings and the morning of day 2 just didn’t live up to those expectations.
Interestingly we’d had a conversation about something similar the evening before - Jean-Pierre spoke of a workshop he’d been to many years ago where he’d been given an assignment the first day and he’d nailed it! The feedback and discussion were full of promise and potential - leading him to think that he understood what he was at the workshop to learn - bring on the next assignment please! Unfortunately, things did not pan out as expected - the next image did not live up to his expectations of feedback
Paradox - Contronyms
I imagine that when some people read the title to this week’s post there were some curious or even confused looks - like where is she going with this or what the heck is she talking about now. I’ve been really enjoying some challenging reading lately which has caused my brain to stretch into different areas that I usually don’t think about or consider. This often causes me to either go around in circles, tie myself up in knots trying to work through things or figure them out - which is a good thing in my view.
I have been reading about paradox (ie., something that seems contradictory or against common thought, but may be true upon investigation) and I really like that idea - the juxtaposition of these apparently contradictory items and then curiosity leading to a mind expanding truth.
Positivity
I can see it without anyone being here - some of you rolled your eyes when you read this week’s blog post title - positivity - yeah right - here we go again - someone spouting off about how being positive saves the world (maybe a slight exaggeration on my channeling of eye rolling thoughts), but what if there was a sliver of truth to that?
Don’t get me wrong - I’m not about forced positivity which lately seems to have earned the moniker “toxic positivity” - I don’t agree with this at all! When I’m not feeling it - I don’t “fake it until I make it” - that just doesn’t feel authentic and in fact I think it masks true emotions and blocks me from moving through them effectively.
What I mean by toxic positivity is when I’m feeling upset or angry and someone tells me to “look on the bright side”
Autumn Colours - Photography Retreat
We’re sitting around a table in the dining hall, remnants of dinner on the table - a water glass, crumpled napkin and crumbs from the chocolate dessert confection. There has been animated conversation as we catch up - four photographers who met for a week at Kingsbrae Gardens (link) in New Brunswick for a week last July - four people from different backgrounds and with different interests - at different stages of life and photography - and yet here we were - reunited for a week long photography retreat at a small resort in the Eastern Townships about an hour and half east of Montreal.
Jean-Pierre taking a lead and asking each of us - Why are you here? What do you want to get out of this week together? What will bring value to your time here together?
Hopefulness
I feel like I bandy this word around (as do most people I know) far too freely - we hope that we win the lottery (guess I’d actually have to buy a ticket to realize that hope) - we hope that we do well in school, work, relationships and we hope for some purpose or meaning to this life. Now that is a pretty broad range of hope. It is defined as an optimistic emotional state characterized by the desire for a positive outcome with a belief in its possibility or likelihood, but I also found this definition a feeling of trust. Wow that made me stop for a second - it actually gave me chills.
Somehow that feels more connected and meaningful for me - it resonates more than having an expectation of a positive outcome - which feels flatter and more transactional to me. A feeling of trust - well for me, trust is all about vulnerability and connection. This makes hope seem more active to me whereas the first definition seems more passive - and let’s face it - I like to dive in rather than sit on the sidelines waiting for things to happen.
Taking a Break
I’m not taking a break from writing or the blog - ironically this has kept me focused and more balanced throughout the summer as chaos reigned. Instead of feeling pressured to produce a written piece weekly, I found that I had all sorts of ideas and for most of the summer I had 4 or 5 blog posts in the queue waiting to be published. Now that things are slowing down with final paint touch ups done and cabinetry adjustments being the outstanding things to be done - it feels like the right time for us to take a break and reconnect with some friends and family. Oh and there is the thing about trying to get in one final camping trip to break in the new trailer before the white stuff flies (which could be any day now this close to the mountains).
I should probably back up a bit and explain that little “break in the new trailer” line because there’s a bit of a story there.
Switching Gears - Getting Creative
It’s no wonder that I’ve been in a bit of a creative dry spell with the 104 days of renovations occurring this summer. It’s hard to carve out time for self care let alone creative pursuits, however I did a few things to try and make sure that all was not totally lost and I think that it helped me to switch off from the stress of the renovation chaos at times.
I started working with a bird photography coach and this was really helpful for getting me out and about during the early days of the summer and then we switched gears to editing and Isaac showed me some great new work flow ideas that I have yet to fully utilize. I’m afraid that during the final days of renovations and setting the house back up that things got a bit too chaotic for me to continue, so I put things on hold for the month of September and now I need to get back into these sessions.
The Unveiling
When we first sat down and discussed the possibility of moving - little did I know that it would be a two and a half year epic project to get from concept to getting settled into normal living. I’ll just say up front that it has been totally worth it. The mornings that I wake up and look outside to see such natural beauty as well as amazing wildlife makes it worth all of the inconvenience and frustrations (I’m also basing this on the fact that the stress and memories of renovations seems to fade after a few months). I am so grateful to have such an amazing person in my life who has my back and lets me take care of him too.I also believe that while this time of challenge has brought out some of my less attractive traits (thinking back to that moment when I was so overwhelmed I just stood in the bathroom and screamed out my frustration), it has revealed a depth and closeness in my relationship with Kory that we often take for granted.
Haida Gwaii - cultural perspective
It has been a little over a month since we visited Haida Gwaii and I have purposely held off on writing this post because I found that when we returned my thoughts were all in a muddle with what felt like snippets of visual images and impressions that seemed more like a kaleidoscope of colours, shapes and patterns whirling through my mind. I wanted to allow some time for these thoughts to settle into more coherent and cohesive ideas before sitting down to write about it.
Needless to say, I found the time we spent in Gwaii Hannas National Park to be very impactful from a spiritual connection perspective - so what does that mean to me? Well it means that when we visited different locations I often found myself overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and connection to the nature around me. There was a lushness and richness to the landscape and I think that my images reflect this feeling of connection as they are full of bold colours and amazing light (see Haida Gwaii gallery).