Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Post Menopausal Zest
I recently had a conversation with someone and they got all excited and started to go on about a phenomenon they’d come across called post menopausal zest (ironically it was a male friend). At first I thought he was pulling my leg, being sarcastic or talking about some new cocktail craze. However, he was being serious and yes it is a real term.
It was first coined by anthropologist Margaret Mead to describe the apparent increase in physical and psychological energy that can come after menopause. Mead started using this phrase in the 1950’s and we’re now talking some 75 years later and the term seems to have experienced a resurgence. Mead originally coined the term to indicate the time in a woman’s life when child bearing/rearing activities are finished and usually there is time and space for more self focused activities - opportunity to pursue self interests or learn and grow. It is also a time when hormone levels are usually levelling out again and becoming more stable.
Backyard Visitors
We had an exciting backyard visitor a couple of weeks ago and the way we stumbled upon him really demonstrates the need for being fully present and noticing unusual behaviours.
Here’s the backstory - we were walking Roxy in our backyard as the weather has been so lovely and above 15C (mid 60’sF). We’ve spent time meandering and really following her which means slowing down for a full scale sniffari - animals are so great at really being present and using all of their senses to scan their environment for things that don’t belong.
Kory noticed that some birds were making a commotion in a group of evergreens in the back corner of our property. We headed over and I used my bird app to identify the bird sound - (Merlin eBird is a free app and a wonderful way to identify birds from photos or sounds) - red breasted nuthatches were the noisy ones we heard which made me wonder because they are not usually that vocal.
What’s on my bedside table/nightstand?
I often wonder when Kory and I travel to different places and the room has no bedside table - why is that? Where are you supposed to put those little things that you put on the bedside table? Are you not supposed to put things there? Is there a reason it’s missing? So many questions and so few answers.
I have always had a bedside table for as long as I can remember - even when I shared a room with my sister we had one table between our beds that we shared with two drawers - the top one was hers because she was the oldest. It has been a lifelong habit of mine.
It got me to thinking about the things that I put on my bedside table, why they are there and should they be?
Numbing
The definition of numbing is - depriving one of feeling or responsiveness which seems like a good thing when you’re visiting the dentist for a root canal, but not so good in other situations. Taken to an extreme, numbing can result in addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling - any number of negative compulsive behaviours. Seeking professional help to address these behaviours is a healthy and loving gesture to oneself.
There are less extreme/less obvious or perhaps more accepted numbing behaviours such as mindless eating/snacking, binge watching tv, shopping, cleaning or reorganizing. To me, numbing is any behaviour we engage in so that we don’t have to face uncomfortable feelings/situations - mine is mindless snacking and compulsive cleaning or organizing. On the surface these may seem harmless behaviours, but when they interfere with processing emotions or problems then they can block you from resolving the underlying situations.
Seasonal Changes
The last week I’ve started to feel the shift in the seasons again - that slow realization like the soft tick ticking of a clock that slowly worms its way into your consciousness. That’s how spring has felt to me - watching the sunrise coming earlier each day by 1 - 2 minutes and noticing the sun sink behind the mountains a little later each day too. Those minutes are stacking up and shifting our daily routine just slightly each day.
I’ve also noticed that the quality of the light is changing as the days get longer - the duration of the sunrise and the sunset seems to extend longer to bookend each day - like it can’t wait to get started and then is loathe to let go and fall into slumber.
The warmer temperatures are melting the residual mounds of white stuff and any new snow doesn’t seem to stick quite as long on the ground.
Surrender
I keep stumbling across the word surrender in various conversations, books and meditations and I really struggle with what this actually means to me. I feel that there is something important and of significance for me to learn which is why I keep digging in.
When I think of surrender - I think of giving in or allowing someone/something to overpower - it definitely feels like a power exchange or that I’m losing something. There is something disturbing about this that makes me feel lesser and uncomfortable. Ironically when I get out of my head and I do let go and “surrender” - especially for things outside of my control then I feel contentment, but it is usually short lived.
The word surrender is defined as yielding to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand - yikes that makes me really uncomfortable! However, when I consider this term from a more spiritual perspective, surrender isn't about giving up; it's defined as being about giving over.
Photographing exotic locations aka my backyard
The title of this post is a bit tongue in cheek, but I got to thinking about this as I was debating about planning a trip to some wonderful location for photography and while I think that there is nothing quite as exciting as capturing images in a new location - a trip just didn’t seem to be coming together. I either didn’t like the timing or the itinerary or something else just didn’t seem quite right.
Lately I’ve been going through my old photography catalogues and looking for images that I overlooked for one reason or another and it’s interesting to note that I have been finding all sorts of great images and a lot of them are from photoshoots close to home. This makes sense as the majority of my images are from locations close to where I live and it also makes sense that I should be seeing progress over time and this would be reflected in the locations I shoot frequently.
Revisiting old photography files
I find that when I do a photoshoot I tend to process the images within a few days - sometimes even right away, but I’ve found that recently I’ve moved away from doing this in order to gain some perspective (ok full confession - I was forced to do this recently when I forgot my card reader when travelling and so I couldn’t download images until I got home).
I’m thinking that this is a good thing to do though because if I have an exciting shoot and either capture some bird or wildlife or scene that I didn’t expect or the light or conditions were amazing - I can be too emotionally tied to the images and not able to really assess them effectively.
Changes I’ve Seen Since Starting to Track Macros
I started tracking macros almost a year ago and while I began doing this to try and get a better understanding of how I was eating and distributing calories (Protein, Carbs and Fats), it quickly morphed into something a lot more impactful (blog post on Macros). I started progressive overload strength training early in the New Year which really paired well with the changes I made to my eating habits (i.e., increasing protein intake) and by July I had seen a 3% increase in muscle mass which is a significant increase especially at my age. (strength training blog post).
Now that it’s been almost 12 months since I started, I thought that it might be interesting and useful for me to reflect back on this past
Pieces of me
This one is very personal and nerve wracking as I feel very exposed and vulnerable sharing these thoughts, but it has also been a really valuable writing exercise to work through some of these thoughts.
I have been a fan of making jigsaw puzzles for a long time - growing up I was so fascinated by the way pieces fit together that I would make the same puzzle over and over again. Adding constraints to make it more difficult - like no putting together straight edge border pieces until the centre has been completed, starting with the toughest part first and then when all of those constraints are no longer challenging there is the turn it over and make the puzzle without looking at the picture version. Everything had a place and when you chose the right pieces they fit together so well. I enjoyed figuring out how to make it all come together.
Brain Rot
I started this blog post near the end of last year, but it got put aside as other topics piqued my interest more at the time. However, after a very stimulating conversation I found myself opening up this draft and finding it tickling my brain - a sure sign that I need to spend some time with this and mature it more.
It appears that each year the major dictionary sources identify the word of the year and in 2024 Oxford dictionary chose “brain rot”.
This is especially noted as being in relation to the low quality of online content that we consume every day. I can see this - I mean when one thinks about the amount of information that is made readily available to us on a daily basis from so many sources - wow! I spend time purposely limiting the amount and source of the content that I consume and it’s not always easy.
Cabin Fever
We’ve had a really unusual winter this year with it being unseasonably warm and not a lot of snow. I have to be honest and admit that I do like the snow - not so much for driving, but definitely for walking, skiing and photography. However, usually about this time of year I’m getting tired of the snow and the cold - we usually have a long stretch of frigid temperatures where it just hurts to go out in it, so we tend to hibernate a bit during this time as the dreaded cabin fever sets in.
I have to admit that by this time I’m looking forward to wearing fewer layers and getting outside for evening barbecues and gardening well into the late hours of the day. I think that Calgarians (as most people) are fond of complaining about the weather that we are currently experiencing rather than enjoying the fact that we do get four seasons (sometimes all in one day!).
Curiosity
A recent visit from Kory’s mum, Anne was a great opportunity for us to connect in person and also to share new experiences as well as favourite traditions. I have to admit that growing up I never heard of the Bonanza - A Ponderosa Christmas Special (trust me this is old with Lorne Greene and Michael Langdon - search YouTube if you’re curious to know more), but it was a tradition in Kory’s family and so we listen to it each year which is fun.
This year we introduced Anne to a new tradition - Ted Lasso. I may have mentioned that I have a bit of an obsession with this series - I really appreciate the subtle leadership nuances and team building as well as gratitude and just feel good moments (ok and Roy Kent’s fruity language). I think that Anne is hooked now too as we watched several episodes most evenings.
Wordplay
I have always loved language and words - one of my earliest memories was sitting on my dad’s knee at the breakfast table picking out words in the newspaper as my mum cooked breakfast. She was always playing words games with us when we went for walks - memory games where we’d have to remember long chains of words or come up with definitions. This fed my innate love of words.
Confession time - my love of words, reading and learning new things led me to read the Encyclopedia - does anyone remember those huge volumes of information? They were the first place we went to when researching term papers for school. I used to particularly enjoy learning the meanings of new words or rather where they came from. It is still something that tickles my grey matter.
Persistence Pays Off
I was lucky enough to have a second shot at photographing snowy owls this year after doing a return road trip with Kory’s mum, Anne. She’s such a great co-pilot and the eight hour drive goes by so quickly with our entertaining chats. One of the perks of coming to see her is the ability to do snowy owl photoshoots at this time of year.
When I tried before Christmas I wasn’t very successful due to weather issues (snowy owl blog post), but I did get to see a lot of amazing wildlife and landscape scenes. It was not a disappointment at all as I’ve come to learn to manage expectations and not count on things like birds, weather or even my abilities coming through when and how I want them to. I try to enjoy the time that I spend looking for these amazing owls and if I get any images that excite me then I’m happy.
Comparison vs Inspiration
The idea for this post came from a conversation I had with a friend who often says I am an inspiration to her. She sees me getting into so many things and diving deep to the point of obsession (my words) and she often makes comments about being unsure of whether to be inspired and encouraged to try something new or feel like she needs a kick in the backside to do better.
I can certainly relate to this feeling having grown up with a superwoman mother - I think I’ve mentioned that she went to university after having four children and went on to get a Bachelor’s of Education degree and a Master’s in Education at night school while working full time as a teacher
Growing Mushrooms
I have been an aspiring gardener for some time now, however the results have not always reflected the effort. I think that when you live in a location where the growing season is very short and unpredictable it can either frustrate you into giving up, or make you dig in your heels and try your hand at anything (I’ll leave you to guess which category I fall into).
For example, when I lived in Southwestern Ontario (the banana belt of Canada) it was easy to grow things - I grew trees from maple leaf tree keys, I split plants on a regular basis and exchanged varieties with other gardeners and I even inadvertently led to the expansion
Reflections and gratitude
It has been a long standing practice of mine to spend a bit of time at the end of every year reflecting back on everything that has come to pass and the things that haven’t been realized. I wouldn’t say that I set resolutions or goals for the upcoming year, but I do spend time thinking about what I’d like to do more or less of as well where I see myself by the end of the year. I like having ideas of where and what I want to achieve as this helps to provide a guide post for my year.
I find that by setting these intentions it is surprising how many are realized by the end of the year when I do my reflection. It is like these ideas guide my subconscious and help me stay on track.
Mood Photography
Photographers often ponder questions like what type of photographer they are, what genres do they shoot, or what is their style and while these are logical and interesting questions, they are not ones that I’ve spent a lot of time agonizing over. I have rather let my preferences lead the way and over time I have found the types of images that I enjoy making as well as the feel or emotion that an image conveys during the editing process. I find that this gives me a lot more flexibility rather than pigeonholing me into only taking certain types and styles of photos. In addition, as I’ve learned more and tools have changed - there has been an evolution to the way my images look.
Stresslaxing
As humans we’re an interesting bunch - ok we can be down right bizarre! I came across this term stresslaxing and I was curious enough to find out what it was all about, so I spent some time diving down the rabbit hole of researching into it - this is one of the many things that I love about retirement - having the time and space to explore and research and just learn new things. My research brought me to this new phenomenon which has emerged where the actual act of relaxation itself induces stress. This rather paradoxical experience is known as stresslaxing and it’s a term that tries to capture the anxiety sparked in some people, who when they are stressed, attempt to relax, but find themselves incapable of doing so.