Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Values, Comfort Zones and Growth
I have sat down to write this blog post a number of times and I keep getting stuck - as usual this caused me to pause and reflect on the why. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what values are - they are the rules or guideposts that we use to define the boundaries of our lives and how we want to live our life - in essence they form our identity. When we’re living authentically within those guideposts there is a feeling of congruity to our lives - a sense of meaning and purpose with an everything is right in my world kind of feeling.
It also wasn’t that I didn’t know what my core values are - I’ve spent time working through this and figuring out what is important to me and how I want to show up in my life, no, it seems to me that there was a disruption - a discordant feeling about what I say are my core values and how I was living my life.
Puppet Making (Part 2)
The second Saturday arrived all fresh and full of creative potential and we pulled up to the studio excited to see how the face moulds turned out. Our first job was to carefully extract the polymer face mould from the plaster form using various tools and gently prying away from the edges - the eyes and nose portion was the toughest to remove as we didn’t want to pull too hard and rip or tear the polymer which was still quite soft and malleable.
Slowly but surely we extracted the faces and excited exclamations could be heard from each of us - we were thrilled with how the faces had come out - the details and textures were captured so well. You’d think we were done with the level of satisfaction expressed by everyone.
Puppet Making (Part 1)
It’s funny how interconnected things can be - like my husband finding a puppet making studio that gives classes and is affiliated with the father of a guitar friend of his. Add to this him getting the notion that this would be a fun thing for us to do with a couple of our friends - none of whom are into puppet making, but they were still up for it as it sounded fun and creative. Those are the kinds of friends who are important to have in your life - people who are up for something off the wall and new just to be able to hang out and have some fun together.
Now if you’ll recall I’ve done a few posts about not feeling very creative (I wrote about it here) and I historically have felt all sorts of resistance inside myself when I think about doing something new -
Journaling
I have always been known as being able to take in a lot of information, consolidate it in a concise way and identify gaps/questions or next step actions to be taken. It is one of my super powers and it has served me well over a very long career. When I started thinking about retiring this was one area of my life where my thoughts seemed a jumbled mess and I lacked any clear direction.
I first talked about retiring about 5 years before I actually did - I kept coming up with reasons excuses for not calling an end to my career - other people who were part of my succession plan unexpectedly retired, the start of a significant industry collaboration that I was part of, COVID - the list was endless. I couldn’t seem to pull together a cohesive case for letting go and calling it a day to focus on different activities and purpose.
Even when I finally sat down with my boss to discuss my plans and declare a timeline, I had doubts and second, third and fourth thoughts about it.
Singing Bowls, Salt Caves and Music
I’m sure the title of this post either resonates (sorry for the pun) or leaves you scratching your head. A few years ago Kory started really delving into music theory and historical transitions around frequencies - to the point of doing a deep dive into healing sound frequencies. It was fascinating to learn about the origins of Gregorian Chants and how the Rosslyn Chapel (featured in the DaVinci Code and just south of Edinburgh in Scotland - we visited 3 times during our time in Scotland) featured symbols in the stonemasonry that correlates to healing sound frequencies (do a search if you’re curious).
All of this research led him to singing bowls which are crystal bowls formed to resonate at set frequencies when tapped with a mallet or circled with the mallet at varying pressures.
Finding Peace
I must admit that writing about my mum’s battle with dementia was quite emotionally challenging, however the response that I received was very heart warming. I had people sharing similar experiences and how it affected their families, ideas and thoughts of how they’ve navigated the challenges of care giving or being long distance care givers. It was a post that really felt like it resonated for many and created some lovely connections which I really appreciated.
Since that blog post I have had all sorts of thoughts of things that I would have liked to have included, but I either didn’t think of them, or I was concerned about the length of the post. I’ve decided to do a follow up post and talk about some of those things and some of the new things that I’ve been looking into around dementia.
Country Living
We’ve been living “in the country” - well let’s be honest we’re just outside of the city limits - for about 18 months now and while we’ve spent a lot of the time in renovation/chaos mode, I feel like I’ve spent enough time in the new living situation to appreciate some of the differences from living within walking distance of the city centre. I thought I’d write about what it’s been like - the good the bad and the unexpected.
There are a number of things that we got right with this move and for the most part I would say that we did a good job anticipating the differences/challenges that we’d face, but there were still a few surprises that neither one of us saw coming. One of the big drivers for this move was to be closer to nature and be able to spend time enjoying the peace and quiet away from the hustle and bustle of inner city living.
Year End Reflections
December 18th was the last strength training session for my amazing class with our trainer Erin and my fellow senior ladies. It’s been a challenging year with various group members experiencing injuries - mine has been a prolonged elbow strain.
We’ve trained hard and reached all sorts of new PR’s (Personal Records) as we’ve focused on improving core strength, balance, cardio and muscle development. I really appreciate Erin’s approach which is very well rounded with a particular focus on good form and preventing injuries. I wrote about my strength training journey hereas well as my 2025 goals.
I had set a stretch goal of being able to do proper push ups (10 was the target), dead lift 200 lbs and do a pull up.
On the bookshelf
I thought I’d do a fun post about what I’m reading as there are some interesting intersections in the books I have on the go right now. It has become a running joke with my friends what book I’m reading as I start many conversations with, “I’ve been reading this book and…..” Before I start I should come clean about a few things - like the fact that I usually have multiple books on the go at any given time - right now there are eight in varying stages of completion and my hope is to finish them before the end of the year.
I actually keep a running list of all the books on my to read list as well as those that are recommended for me to read and yes I do keep track of the ones I’ve finished. Right now there are 51 on the to read list, 23 on the recommendation list and 39 finished in 2025 (this doesn’t count the 8 outstanding).
In the waiting
I’ve had a very impactful few weeks where some random interactions have left their mark on me and I’ve continued to think about them long after spending time with these people. Two very good friends are having a tough time - suffering - and there is very little that I can do (I hate feeling helpless!). My first reaction/response is to try and fix it - help them - make it better, but I can’t. However, there are things that I can do like offer support - let them know I care and am thinking of them. These are small things, but maybe they matter more than the big grand gestures.
I have been sending one friend random texts of photos that I’ve taken - just something to distract her or let her know I’m thinking of her. More than anything it’s that connection - that knowing we’re not alone that I think is important. Or perhaps I’m annoying the heck out of her and she’s too Canadian to tell me to quit it - I don’t think that is likely, but the thought does occur to me.
Expectations and Growth
It’s ironic that this is a common theme for me in my writings - expectations - disappointment and growth. Maybe there is something here for me to learn - or relearn - or keep on learning. The excitement of the first day of the retreat led me to expect all sorts of amazing photographs to be made in subsequent outings and the morning of day 2 just didn’t live up to those expectations.
Interestingly we’d had a conversation about something similar the evening before - Jean-Pierre spoke of a workshop he’d been to many years ago where he’d been given an assignment the first day and he’d nailed it! The feedback and discussion were full of promise and potential - leading him to think that he understood what he was at the workshop to learn - bring on the next assignment please! Unfortunately, things did not pan out as expected - the next image did not live up to his expectations of feedback
Paradox - Contronyms
I imagine that when some people read the title to this week’s post there were some curious or even confused looks - like where is she going with this or what the heck is she talking about now. I’ve been really enjoying some challenging reading lately which has caused my brain to stretch into different areas that I usually don’t think about or consider. This often causes me to either go around in circles, tie myself up in knots trying to work through things or figure them out - which is a good thing in my view.
I have been reading about paradox (ie., something that seems contradictory or against common thought, but may be true upon investigation) and I really like that idea - the juxtaposition of these apparently contradictory items and then curiosity leading to a mind expanding truth.
Hopefulness
I feel like I bandy this word around (as do most people I know) far too freely - we hope that we win the lottery (guess I’d actually have to buy a ticket to realize that hope) - we hope that we do well in school, work, relationships and we hope for some purpose or meaning to this life. Now that is a pretty broad range of hope. It is defined as an optimistic emotional state characterized by the desire for a positive outcome with a belief in its possibility or likelihood, but I also found this definition a feeling of trust. Wow that made me stop for a second - it actually gave me chills.
Somehow that feels more connected and meaningful for me - it resonates more than having an expectation of a positive outcome - which feels flatter and more transactional to me. A feeling of trust - well for me, trust is all about vulnerability and connection. This makes hope seem more active to me whereas the first definition seems more passive - and let’s face it - I like to dive in rather than sit on the sidelines waiting for things to happen.
Haida Gwaii Naturalist Perspective (Part 1)
Some of us are predominantly visual learners while others are auditory learners and still others need to be hands on to fully grasp concepts and ideas (likely the way we all cement concepts with actual learning is through practice), or a combination of all three. I find that I need all three to really get my head around new ideas and the older I get the more I need the visual and hands on portion to really cement things.
We have recently come back from a trip to Gwaii Hannas National Park Reserve and Haida Heritage Site (Haida Gwaii) and we were fortunate enough to have a biologist/retired Parks employee/university professor/naturalist/birder/comedian guide as part of the crew (Danny Katt) on the Afterglow.
Visit to Haida Gwaii - First Impressions
We’ve just returned from a week aboard the Afterglow and a wonderful trip with Jenn and Chris from Ocean Light Adventures and I can honestly say that we could have easily spent much more time exploring and learning about the Haida culture and beautiful landscape. This trip came in the middle of our home renovations and we couldn’t afford to be away any longer than a week, so I’m glad that we went - it was a much needed break and with no cell service for most of the week - a wonderful time to be unplugged. Amazingly the world did not end and no significant renovation event occurred because we were not available.
The Creative Voice
I’m being a bit facetious, however I feel that while creativity is something very personal, I see the term tossed about with little care for how unique and personally expressive it can be. To me it is the intersection of motivation, curiosity and play and each of these components are required for it to come about. There are many times when I’ve been curious and playful, but have taken no action on the thoughts - hence no creative output. I’ve also found myself motivated to take action and curious, but it seems that I can reach a roadblock very easily as judgment and self criticism quickly causes the curiosity to stall. I believe that the playfulness is a key component as it is what drives past the barriers and self imposed constraints to exploration - it allows me to experiment and fail and learn and try something new.
Heading to Haida Gwaii
Last August Kory and I headed to the Khutzeymateen Grizzly Bear Sanctuary and Great Bear Rainforest which is northwest of Prince Rupert (a small city 465 miles / 748 km by air from Vancouver) and close to the Alaska border.
I wrote about this adventure here and we had such a good time that we have booked with the same company this year, but we’re heading to Haida Gwaii. There is an archipelago off of British Columbia’s west coast called Haida Gwaii which means Islands of the People in Haida. The islands were formerly known as the Queen Charlotte Islands, but in the 1980’s the name was changed to recognize its origins and importance in to the Haida Nation.
Gardening Meditation
When I sat down to write this blog post I paused and pondered on what a gardening meditation means - I know what it means to me, however that is often a bit off base with what the mainstream thinks. I did what I do when I’m curious and want to dive down rabbit holes - I googled it and then started searching and reading - the basic summary of gardening meditation is combining physical activity associated with gardening with mindful practices. That wasn’t very helpful to me, so I dug deeper (I know a bad gardening pun) - and I came up with a means of fostering a connection with nature and promoting mental well-being. Ok that seemed a bit more descriptive and relatable, however as I read further it got into the weeds a bit (ok another gardening pun - I know!).
Gadget Stacking
When we started training our cat Roxy to be able to walk outside on a harness and leash we occasionally came across situations that she’d been exposed to before which caused her to have a meltdown and get totally stressed out. It was difficult to witness as we only wanted her to have positive experiences and join us in our love of the outdoors.
I had a breakthrough when I learned about trigger stacking which is when a dog or cat experiences multiple stressful events (positive or negative) in a short amount of time, without time to calm down between each event. This can lead to increased excitement, anxiety or aggression.
A situation that on its own would be fine could result in a heightened emotional outcome for her if it was paired with one or more emotionally heightened situations - trigger stacking.
Agitation and Overwhelm
Those who have been reading this blog for a while will know that last year was a pretty stressful year for me - between buying and selling a house, packing up and moving which was then followed by 6 months of renovations of the lower level of the house to build a music space for Kory. It was a lot and there were a number of times throughout the summer that I felt overwhelmed which surprised me.
Before retirement I worked in a very stressful job and was continuously on call for international and domestic divisions. I am used to having to deal with overwhelming situations and stay calm and methodically work through things which made my reaction even more perplexing. Once things calmed down and we started to really live in the new space I decided to spend some time reflecting on my feelings of agitation and overwhelm during the renovations