Hopefulness
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What is hope?
I hope for good light and amazing subjects/compositions, but I often have to compromise on at least one of these elements. EXIF data f5.6, 1/250s, 400mm, ISO4000, +.67EV
I feel like I bandy this word around (as do most people I know) far too freely - we hope that we win the lottery (guess I’d actually have to buy a ticket to realize that hope) - we hope that we do well in school, work, relationships and we hope for some purpose or meaning to this life. Now that is a pretty broad range of hope. It is defined as an optimistic emotional state characterized by the desire for a positive outcome with a belief in its possibility or likelihood, but I also found this definition a feeling of trust. Wow that made me stop for a second - it actually gave me chills.
Somehow that feels more connected and meaningful for me - it resonates more than having an expectation of a positive outcome - which feels flatter and more transactional to me. A feeling of trust - well for me, trust is all about vulnerability and connection. This makes hope seem more active to me whereas the first definition seems more passive - and let’s face it - I like to dive in rather than sit on the sidelines waiting for things to happen.
Who or what do I hope to have a feeling of trust with?
That second definition really got me thinking because somehow it really resonated with me. Who or what (let’s face it what doesn’t make as much sense as who) do I wish to develop feelings of trust with - who do I hope for a relationship with - to have this feeling of hope with? I suppose when I first met Kory and we started dating there was an element of hope - a wish for connection and to build a safe place where we could grow through our shared values and I could be myself and he could be himself. I suspect that for me it is similar with my close friends - I want to feel comfortable being vulnerable and having that feeling of trust, but somehow as I sat and pondered this idea - that didn’t feel like it was the whole picture.
My thoughts were scattered like the autumn leaves swirling to the ground. EXIF data f4, 1/200s, 100mm, ISO200)
Somehow it felt like I was pondering something bigger - deeper and even more meaningful. Now I will be honest and admit that I was not raised in a religious household, however I have always felt a very strong spiritual connection when I spend time in nature. That sense of awe and wonder that transports me beyond myself - connects me to all sorts of living beings. That awe stops me in my tracks - it leads me to get curious and explore - and isn’t that what hope is about? Getting curious - exploring possibilities and even being able to let go and not be able to fully explain everything? All this thinking was tying me up in knots inside.
I’ve been reading a very interesting book called An Immense World and it has captivated my imagination. Ed Yong explores the plant, insect and animal worlds from the perspective of their senses - he calls their experience of the world through their senses - their Umwelt. One very humbling fact that has come out of reading this book is how little I know about the natural world around me because I primarily view it through my perspective and my senses. To me Admiral butterflies all look very similar and yet if I were to view them with glasses sensitive to UV light, I would see a whole new world of patterns and shades on their wings. Just because I’m incapable of seeing that part of the light spectrum does not make it invalid or unimportant.
“For us, UV feels enigmatic and intoxicating. It’s an invisible hue lying just on the edge of our vision - a perceptual void that our imaginations are keen to fill….(to many insects and animals) it’s just another colour.” Ed Yong - An Immense World
Deer have such acute hearing and they seem to sense things far beyond what humans are capable of. EXIF data f7.1, 600mm, 1/400s, ISO6400
This reminds me of my first Hallowe’en dance in grade school when we had to get a stamp to indicate we’d paid admission. The stamp was invisible until I put my hand under a UV light and then a ghost character suddenly appeared. It seemed magical or the stuff of secret agents, but for most insects and animals it would be no big deal.
Is it the same with this seemingly enigmatic feeling of hope? Is my perception just not quite tuned to what I sense is just beyond my mind’s eye? It really got me thinking.
Getting curious
Now if I take the idea of perceptual bias a bit further and get really curious - not imposing my perspectives, cultural viewpoints or even limitations on the world I encounter - how much more would I be able to experience? How much more rich would my experiences be? Suspending my sense of reality is not an easy thing to do - I’m a pretty factually based, need to see, smell, touch, hear or taste it to believe it kind of person. But does everything that I can’t explain based upon my experience and knowledge - mean it is unexplainable or that it isn’t valid? Of course not - my range of knowledge and experience is pretty limited relative to what is out there and it would be highly egocentric of me to believe that perspective.
Heading to the bank of rigidity or chaos? EXIF data f6.3, 200mm, 1/250s, ISO4000)
However, don’t I sometimes effectively do that when I dismiss thoughts and ideas because I don’t have physical proof? When I am so focused on my perspective that I forget or even ignore the possibilities and refuse or am unable to get curious. Yes I know that is when I’m cruising along the bank of rigidity.
I have started to dabble in more abstract photography and it is really scratching a creative itch that I didn’t even know I had. Being able to see differently and create images that don’t exist in reality - either through intentional camera movement, slow shutter speeds, panning or any other number of editing or multiple exposure techniques - has opened a whole new world for me to get curious about and explore.
What if I were to apply this same level of curiosity to the idea of hopefulness? Where would it lead me?
Where will getting curious lead me? EXIF data f6.3, 100mm, 1/200s, ISO1200 -1.0EV
I’m reading another book (did I see you roll your eyes and say “of course you are”) called Positivity and Barbara Fredrickson talks about the 10 forms of positivity which she lists as: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope (there it is again!), pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love. I’ll likely refer to this book again in an upcoming blog post as I’m finding it fascinating, but for now what struck me was that word hope showing up in the list - I wouldn’t have listed hope as a form of positivity. When I keep brushing up against a word or idea from different directions and unrelated sources - it makes me pause - it makes me think that the universe might be trying to tell me something.
Fredrickson talks about positivity arising when you’re feeling safe and satiated and yet hope is about expectation (in her words). Her premise is that deep within hope is a feeling that things can change for the better, but I couldn’t help but apply that alternate definition of hope - a feeling of trust. Positivity arises when you’re feeling safe and satiated which also arises when you experience a sense of trust.
Positivity, real heartfelt positivity and not the superficial pretend/forced kind has also been linked to all sorts of health benefits. Maybe there is something to this hope that can lead to feelings of safety and enough.
Maybe I’ve been thinking about hope and hopefulness all wrong - I’ve been focusing on hope being some yearning for a specific outcome that has a potential to occur, but isn’t guaranteed. To me it felt like a very passive feeling - like something that I was putting out there without being able to influence the outcome.
However, all this pondering has got me thinking that maybe it’s the opposite of my perspective - hope is putting my wishes and desires out there - being vulnerable and trusting that through positivity and connection that I could realize these hopes. To me this feels more active - I am actively opening myself up to potential disappointment and being ok with that - knowing that regardless of the outcome that I will have stretched myself and grown.
I’ll be honest - I’m still not entirely sure about all this - it is a working theory at this point.
What do I hope for?
When I let myself be open to the possibility of hope - I do hope for closer ties to special people in my life and the most effective way of realizing that hope is to take action - be vulnerable and reach out to those people and share parts of me to build connection. That seems aligned with Fredrickson’s definition and the alternate definition that resonated with me.
What do you hope for? Is hope a fundamental part of your life or are you more like me and see it as a passive aspirational emotion? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below or reach out to me directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button.
I hope to see the fawns in our backyard, but often catch a glimpse of them running away. EXIF data f8, 1/500s, 400mm, ISO800
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
