Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Post Menopausal Zest
I recently had a conversation with someone and they got all excited and started to go on about a phenomenon they’d come across called post menopausal zest (ironically it was a male friend). At first I thought he was pulling my leg, being sarcastic or talking about some new cocktail craze. However, he was being serious and yes it is a real term.
It was first coined by anthropologist Margaret Mead to describe the apparent increase in physical and psychological energy that can come after menopause. Mead started using this phrase in the 1950’s and we’re now talking some 75 years later and the term seems to have experienced a resurgence. Mead originally coined the term to indicate the time in a woman’s life when child bearing/rearing activities are finished and usually there is time and space for more self focused activities - opportunity to pursue self interests or learn and grow. It is also a time when hormone levels are usually levelling out again and becoming more stable.
Backyard Visitors
We had an exciting backyard visitor a couple of weeks ago and the way we stumbled upon him really demonstrates the need for being fully present and noticing unusual behaviours.
Here’s the backstory - we were walking Roxy in our backyard as the weather has been so lovely and above 15C (mid 60’sF). We’ve spent time meandering and really following her which means slowing down for a full scale sniffari - animals are so great at really being present and using all of their senses to scan their environment for things that don’t belong.
Kory noticed that some birds were making a commotion in a group of evergreens in the back corner of our property. We headed over and I used my bird app to identify the bird sound - (Merlin eBird is a free app and a wonderful way to identify birds from photos or sounds) - red breasted nuthatches were the noisy ones we heard which made me wonder because they are not usually that vocal.
What’s on my bedside table/nightstand?
I often wonder when Kory and I travel to different places and the room has no bedside table - why is that? Where are you supposed to put those little things that you put on the bedside table? Are you not supposed to put things there? Is there a reason it’s missing? So many questions and so few answers.
I have always had a bedside table for as long as I can remember - even when I shared a room with my sister we had one table between our beds that we shared with two drawers - the top one was hers because she was the oldest. It has been a lifelong habit of mine.
It got me to thinking about the things that I put on my bedside table, why they are there and should they be?
Numbing
The definition of numbing is - depriving one of feeling or responsiveness which seems like a good thing when you’re visiting the dentist for a root canal, but not so good in other situations. Taken to an extreme, numbing can result in addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling - any number of negative compulsive behaviours. Seeking professional help to address these behaviours is a healthy and loving gesture to oneself.
There are less extreme/less obvious or perhaps more accepted numbing behaviours such as mindless eating/snacking, binge watching tv, shopping, cleaning or reorganizing. To me, numbing is any behaviour we engage in so that we don’t have to face uncomfortable feelings/situations - mine is mindless snacking and compulsive cleaning or organizing. On the surface these may seem harmless behaviours, but when they interfere with processing emotions or problems then they can block you from resolving the underlying situations.
Surrender
I keep stumbling across the word surrender in various conversations, books and meditations and I really struggle with what this actually means to me. I feel that there is something important and of significance for me to learn which is why I keep digging in.
When I think of surrender - I think of giving in or allowing someone/something to overpower - it definitely feels like a power exchange or that I’m losing something. There is something disturbing about this that makes me feel lesser and uncomfortable. Ironically when I get out of my head and I do let go and “surrender” - especially for things outside of my control then I feel contentment, but it is usually short lived.
The word surrender is defined as yielding to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand - yikes that makes me really uncomfortable! However, when I consider this term from a more spiritual perspective, surrender isn't about giving up; it's defined as being about giving over.
Changes I’ve Seen Since Starting to Track Macros
I started tracking macros almost a year ago and while I began doing this to try and get a better understanding of how I was eating and distributing calories (Protein, Carbs and Fats), it quickly morphed into something a lot more impactful (blog post on Macros). I started progressive overload strength training early in the New Year which really paired well with the changes I made to my eating habits (i.e., increasing protein intake) and by July I had seen a 3% increase in muscle mass which is a significant increase especially at my age. (strength training blog post).
Now that it’s been almost 12 months since I started, I thought that it might be interesting and useful for me to reflect back on this past
Pieces of me
This one is very personal and nerve wracking as I feel very exposed and vulnerable sharing these thoughts, but it has also been a really valuable writing exercise to work through some of these thoughts.
I have been a fan of making jigsaw puzzles for a long time - growing up I was so fascinated by the way pieces fit together that I would make the same puzzle over and over again. Adding constraints to make it more difficult - like no putting together straight edge border pieces until the centre has been completed, starting with the toughest part first and then when all of those constraints are no longer challenging there is the turn it over and make the puzzle without looking at the picture version. Everything had a place and when you chose the right pieces they fit together so well. I enjoyed figuring out how to make it all come together.
Brain Rot
I started this blog post near the end of last year, but it got put aside as other topics piqued my interest more at the time. However, after a very stimulating conversation I found myself opening up this draft and finding it tickling my brain - a sure sign that I need to spend some time with this and mature it more.
It appears that each year the major dictionary sources identify the word of the year and in 2024 Oxford dictionary chose “brain rot”.
This is especially noted as being in relation to the low quality of online content that we consume every day. I can see this - I mean when one thinks about the amount of information that is made readily available to us on a daily basis from so many sources - wow! I spend time purposely limiting the amount and source of the content that I consume and it’s not always easy.
Cabin Fever
We’ve had a really unusual winter this year with it being unseasonably warm and not a lot of snow. I have to be honest and admit that I do like the snow - not so much for driving, but definitely for walking, skiing and photography. However, usually about this time of year I’m getting tired of the snow and the cold - we usually have a long stretch of frigid temperatures where it just hurts to go out in it, so we tend to hibernate a bit during this time as the dreaded cabin fever sets in.
I have to admit that by this time I’m looking forward to wearing fewer layers and getting outside for evening barbecues and gardening well into the late hours of the day. I think that Calgarians (as most people) are fond of complaining about the weather that we are currently experiencing rather than enjoying the fact that we do get four seasons (sometimes all in one day!).
Comparison vs Inspiration
The idea for this post came from a conversation I had with a friend who often says I am an inspiration to her. She sees me getting into so many things and diving deep to the point of obsession (my words) and she often makes comments about being unsure of whether to be inspired and encouraged to try something new or feel like she needs a kick in the backside to do better.
I can certainly relate to this feeling having grown up with a superwoman mother - I think I’ve mentioned that she went to university after having four children and went on to get a Bachelor’s of Education degree and a Master’s in Education at night school while working full time as a teacher
Reflections and gratitude
It has been a long standing practice of mine to spend a bit of time at the end of every year reflecting back on everything that has come to pass and the things that haven’t been realized. I wouldn’t say that I set resolutions or goals for the upcoming year, but I do spend time thinking about what I’d like to do more or less of as well where I see myself by the end of the year. I like having ideas of where and what I want to achieve as this helps to provide a guide post for my year.
I find that by setting these intentions it is surprising how many are realized by the end of the year when I do my reflection. It is like these ideas guide my subconscious and help me stay on track.
Stresslaxing
As humans we’re an interesting bunch - ok we can be down right bizarre! I came across this term stresslaxing and I was curious enough to find out what it was all about, so I spent some time diving down the rabbit hole of researching into it - this is one of the many things that I love about retirement - having the time and space to explore and research and just learn new things. My research brought me to this new phenomenon which has emerged where the actual act of relaxation itself induces stress. This rather paradoxical experience is known as stresslaxing and it’s a term that tries to capture the anxiety sparked in some people, who when they are stressed, attempt to relax, but find themselves incapable of doing so.
Coaching
I come from a long line of very proud, reserved, stiff upper lip never show your emotions or weakness people. I was taught that the way to work through things is to ignore, power through or just pretend it never happened. I don’t suspect that I am alone in being taught these coping skills - it seems to me that it was a prevalent approach during the time that I grew up, however I also recognize that cultural attitudes and approaches have been changing throughout my life - in a very positive way - thank goodness!
Being vulnerable is no longer seen as being weak - seeking help and support is a sure sign of strength and a desire to grow - talking about things is the best way to knock shame on the head
Seasonal Transitions
This transitional time is my favourite time of the year - while I love to watch the world wake up from the frosty cold of winter, I often find that changes happen too quickly in the springtime - the temperatures and precipitation can yo-yo and leave me feeling caught up in a whirlwind of changes. The summer has its warmth and lazy hazy days, however I find it almost too vibrant - too green. When the days start to shorten and the leftover heat of the day cools down, the air takes on a bit of crispness and the leaves on the trees start to take on their autumnal colours - this is my time of year - this is when I feel grateful to be able to spend time outside and soak up the lingering warmth of the season.
Being outside my routine
I have written quite a bit about the changes that I’ve made around healthier eating, strength training and wellness in an attempt to lead a more mindful life and improve my wellbeing. It has taken me a few years to identify the habits that I wanted to introduce and those that I wanted to part ways with - Atomic Habits (James Clear) is an excellent resource and I wrote about it here.
It took a lot of consistency and small changes to build up the good habits that I wanted to introduce, such as strength training, yoga, meditation and photography walks to name a few. Then last April everything changed when we bought a new home.
The shifts in what is important
This recent move to the “country” (see this blog post) really highlighted for me that I have made some significant shifts in what is important (as has Kory). We identified the values that are important to us when we started seriously searching for a new home. Nature, a less busy location, space and places to walk were the things that we identified as being important.
Our previous home was located within walking distance of downtown Calgary in a lovely neighbourhood that was close to coffee shops and grocery stores. There was a vibe of busy urban
Evenings with my backyard visitors
I know that I’ve mentioned it before, however this move to the “country” has had a significant impact on the way that I’m spending my time. I hadn’t envisioned that I would be spending quite as much time as I do outside - I mean I thought I was outdoorsy before, but now a huge portion of my day is spent outside - and I keep looking for more reasons to head on out the door.
Wandering around with my weed digger doing my weekly rounds is a great way to survey the yard and see what has changed since my last check in.
Maintaining Balance
I recall that during my working life I was constantly searching for balance - I felt the pull from work and an even bigger pull from home to have my attention. I will admit that there were a lot of times when I didn’t get the balance right and I feel that my home life suffered as a result. In addition I think that my mental and physical wellbeing suffered - not just from the actual stress of the situation, but also the additional stress of feeling guilt and regret for not being present for my family.
All or nothing mentality
I think of peoples’ personalities or traits as being part of a spectrum and it is a fluid spectrum (i.e., I don’t think people act in one manner exclusively as we often identify ourselves), however I do believe that we have preferred approaches or manners. Back in this blog post (
irritability, cabin fever and a breakthrough
) I wrote about viewing the way we react to things like we’re floating down a river between the banks of rigidity and chaos. Going to either extreme puts us in an undesirable state where we’re either digging in our heels over every little thing or feeling totally overwhelmed.
Ninja Creami
It is perhaps an understatement to say that this has been a very full year. I had not imagined 12 months ago that I’d be living in a new home, coming to the end of the first wave of big house projects and have 3 major photography trips under my belt. Add to that a complete re-evaluation of my eating habits and the initiation of a progressive overload strength training program. Whew! No wonder I’m tired!
One of the biggest learnings that I’ve had from starting the Macros 101 program (which I wrote about in this blog post)