Re-establishing Habits
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How fast we can get out of routines.
2024 was a tough year with a lot of disruption to routine due to travel, buying a house, selling a house, moving and renovations. Looking back it is hard to believe that we have done all that we have. The house is looking good and the HVAC system is working well - life is good! (update: It looks like summer 2025 is going to be another challenging time as we take on the kitchen and bathroom updates, but this time it will be with the help of a project manager and the last of the big changes - thank goodness!).
We were surprised by the appearance of a long eared owl in our wooded area this past week. (EXIF data f6.3, 1/4000s, ISO800, 800mm)
I made some conscious decisions about habits that I wanted to continue through all the turmoil and ones that I was willing to put on hold until things settled down - I knew that trying to keep up all of my good self care habits would overload my system and lead to failure. This was a good compromise and I felt that after several years of these habits that they would be easy to pick up again after the crazy year that was 2024 was over - was I in for a surprise.
Trying to Re-establish Habits
It’s amazing how well established habits can fall by the wayside when we get distracted or busy - getting out of the habit is much easier than I thought it would be. The habits that fell off the rails the fastest surprised me because many of them were the most well established - such as daily meditations with my husband. We have established daily meditation as part of our routine for about five years now and I am surprised how difficult it has been to get it going again on a regular basis. It is a habit that helps us to connect, relax and focus, but we let it go because we were too tired and kept falling asleep (the snoring - mostly mine was very disruptive!).
Early morning light and shadows have such warmth and invitation. (EXIF data f9, 1/125s, 48mm, ISO1000, -1EV)
I also found that my daily reading for 30 minutes has fallen off and it’s also been difficult to re-establish due to the lure of mindless scrolling on social media. This became a mindless break from the renovations, but certainly did not feed my mind or soul. I have banned electronic devices from my bedroom and replaced them with a book that I read before bed, but I have still not re-established my daily 30 minute morning reading routine.
I now have a beautiful library set up and I have started to get up at 5 am and spend 30 to 60 minutes reading in the morning. I have found that having a dedicated space to re-establish this habit has helped (as suggested in Atomic Habits) and I have also found that having 3 - 4 books on the go and reading a chapter from each during this morning ritual has also helped. (update: this is back in place as of May)
Re-evaluation of daily habits
Interestingly enough I found myself continually saying that once X happens I’ll jump back into my routine, however I found that X came and went and these habits didn’t magically get re-established. I think that once you get out of a routine that it takes work to get it started again - work and motivation. I wondered if the motivation has fizzled out which got me wondering if my why behind the habit had also changed.
One thing that I have been thinking about is reviewing my daily habits to see what fits in with my new lifestyle and if there are any tweaks or changes that need to be made so that I’m aligning my habits with my “why”.
When I consider the reasons for making this move it was to establish a stronger connection with nature, slow down the pace of life and connect with each other more. These are all very strong “why’s” and as I review habits and self care routines it is easy to determine if they are strongly aligned with these why’s.
The hopeful promise of lilac blossoms - which demonstrates there is always something interesting to photograph. (EXIF data f14, 1/160s, 120mm, ISO1600).
For instance, one of my habits that has fallen away to occasional rather than regular is my photography walks. It has been challenging to re-establish this habit with unfamiliar walking locations and the difficulties of new compositions to find (all excuses that I talk about in this post). I have still not gotten back into this habit and I suspect it is due to a lull in my photographic motivation as this is not my favourite time of year to be getting outside - the leaves and grass is very green and not my favourite tones (more excuses). I imagine that in a few weeks things will start to really change with blossoms and flowers out as well as new birds and butterflies being active and my enthusiasm will return - stay tuned! (see? this is more of that once X happens things will magically change).
Approaching a shift in my routine
It feels like this is a good time to get back to basics and identify those key habits that haven’t been easy to get back to. Habits are what make me feel good physically and mentally - failure to do them leads to internal negative messaging and generally not focusing on myself.
I like Brene Brown’s analogy about filling a jar full of marbles with the marbles representing things that fill us with positive energy and good feelings - when my marble jar is full I am able to be there others as well as myself, but over time my marbles become depleted and my energy levels become low if I don’t replenish the marbles.
I’ve noticed that when I don’t take care of myself I can easily fall into the power through mentality and ignore my needs/self care/compassion which can lead to a depleted marble jar - the negative feelings spiral quickly downwards as my energy and positivity flow out of me.
Interestingly, this approach did not make getting back into my habits easier - in fact I felt even more resistance to re-establishing the habit - interesting.
Morning photography shoots finding misty conditions delightful. (EXIF data f3.5, 1/200s, 165mm, ISO320)
Once I started re-evaluating my daily habits it became clear to me that some felt more like I was checking an item off of a “self care” to do list rather than participating in a habit that enriched my life and filled me with uplifting positive energy. Was the checkmark the goal or the experience? This led me to really stop and ask - what do I need in this moment because really self care is about supporting what I need to fill my cup (so to speak).
Once I posed the question in that manner it became clear that I have a whole list of activities that fill my cup and that I just need to connect with what I actually need in the moment. So rather than approaching my day with a “to do list” I have shifted my focus to approaching the day with a list of possible activities to support me and I spend a few minutes identifying what I need in the moment - what would serve my needs best. It’s such a simple shift, but one that has made a marked difference in my energy level throughout the day.
What’s up going forward in 2025?
I’ve come up with my non negotiable list which is the 5 things that I will not compromise on, or let fall out of my routine. These five things include:
daily reading
meditation
working out/physical activity
creative activity such as photography, editing or writing blog posts
date night with Kory - ensuring connection outside of house projects
However each day I ask the question - what do I need right now? to determine how each of these non-negotiable will look for me.
How do you establish or re-establish habits that support your wellbeing? I’d love to hear about it in the comments or drop me a note directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button.
Female yellow headed blackbird. (EXIF data f5.6, 1/800s, 840mm, ISO9000)
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
