Journaling
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Scattered thoughts and scattered direction
I have always been known as being able to take in a lot of information, consolidate it in a concise way and identify gaps/questions or next step actions to be taken. It is one of my super powers and it has served me well over a very long career. When I started thinking about retiring this was one area of my life where my thoughts seemed a jumbled mess and I lacked any clear direction.
I first talked about retiring about 5 years before I actually did - I kept coming up with reasons excuses for not calling an end to my career - other people who were part of my succession plan unexpectedly retired, the start of a significant industry collaboration that I was part of, COVID - the list was endless. I couldn’t seem to pull together a cohesive case for letting go and calling it a day to focus on different activities and purpose.
The lines formed by late afternoon shadows reminds me of the lines on the pages of my earliest journals. (EXIF data f6.3, 1/250s, 400mm, ISO400)
Even when I finally sat down with my boss to discuss my plans and declare a timeline, I had doubts and second, third and fourth thoughts about it. For someone who is known for having clarity of thought and action - I was the polar opposite with this life transition. It got me to wondering why.
I mostly struggled with the decision of when to retire and what it would look like once I did. I have spoken about Tracy my life coach who I’ve been working with for a number of years now. I have really enjoyed working with her as she challenges me without it feeling intrusive. One suggestion she made early on was that I might benefit from getting all of these jumbled thoughts down in a journal. I have journaled off and on for most of my life, so it seemed like a good idea.
Journaling as a habit
I started with a gratitude journal about 5 years ago now and I still write in it every morning and evening. I spend about 5 minutes in the morning writing about three things I am grateful for, three things that would make the day great and then an affirmation for the day. At the end of the day I write three highlights from the day and my learnings from the day. I use a very loose format and sometimes I go off script and just write what feels important for the day. My goal has been for this to be heartfelt and not just a to do list item, so I often write why I am grateful for the things in my life to give my writing extra meaningfulness to me.
The habit of journaling provides an uplifting moment to my day. (EXIF data f22, 1/1000s, 120mm, ISO64)
This habit once formed became something that really grounded me and started my day off right. Just thinking of the things that I am grateful for fills me with such warm thoughts and feelings. It is such an easy and uplifting practice that I would highly recommend it.
Reconnecting with those thoughts and reflecting on the highlights of the day when I did my nightly journal helped to reaffirm the positive thoughts. It also became a part of my bedtime ritual that helped me to relax and slow down prior to sleep.
Over time I found this practice helped me focus my thoughts and so at the time I thought this could have some value in helping me to sort out my thoughts about retirement.
Retirement thoughts
As I started to write about retirement, I found that my first obstacle was where to start - this is often a stumbling block when starting a journaling project. It’s why I chose to start with a format for my gratitude journal and I have let the format morph and evolve over time. I decided to start in a similar place - at this point in my life what am I grateful for and what would I like to spend more time doing.
It was a shaky beginning and after a few false starts, awkward sessions - I started to find that the words began to flow. I wrote about wanting to focus time and attention on living well - being healthy and active well into my senior years. I wrote about connecting more deeply with my husband and close friends - having time to explore new thoughts and ideas and share those with others.
Looking for clarity and direction through the fogginess of retirement thoughts. (EXIF data - multiple exposure of 3 images merged, f7.1, 1/10s, 120mm, ISO64)
I also wrote about giving back - being able to spend time sharing my knowledge, learnings and experience with others. Teaching or coaching where it made sense and providing further connections. Peppered amongst these thoughts were words of gratitude for the time and ability that I currently had to focus on these things - I just wanted more.
I wanted to create community and connection in my life - in meaningful ways. This was all good stuff and really helped me to start to crystallize my thoughts - when I thought about retirement what led me to thoughts of fulfillment and joy.
This exercise led me to consolidate my plans around retirement - something I would have likely struggled with if not for my clarity of thought through journalling. In fact this blog and website would not exist if I had not spent that time journaling.
Other journaling exercises
Using a shallow depth of field to create a magical image of an American goldfinch fluffed up to stay warm in the winter hoar frost. (EXIF data f4, 1/250s, 600mm, ISO400)
I love to spend time letting my thoughts wander and seeing where my imagination takes me. I have written about using journaling as a way to tap into a photography scene and understand what caught my eye - what moved me and how I want to express that emotion.
This practice has been very helpful for getting me to move out of my analytical technical brain and release my inner creativity - something that I thought that I had lost or given up long ago.
I have used journaling to help me understand the root of behaviours or barriers to making changes in my life - this is a powerful method for me to dig deeply into what is going on in my subconscious. I even did an exercise around identity shifts over the holiday season this year and it was very impactful and enlightening as I explored how I prioritize just about everything over my self care routine and workouts. Just even making this connection helped me to shift my mindset and work towards a more balanced and intentional approach to working out consistently.
Unraveled thoughts lead to clarity in direction
What I’ve found most impactful from journaling is the way it helps me to get jumbled thoughts that are tumbling around in my head on a constant repeating loop - down on paper where they seem to almost magically unravel themselves. What actually happens is that I seem to start to see patterns and common themes in what I write and this leads to me making cohesive sense of the thoughts and coming up with questions to explore further or action steps to take to resolve whatever I've been mulling over.
Writing has always played an important role in my life and now in retirement it seems to be taking on some new functional roles that are incredibly helpful and supportive of living a life of fulfillment and gratitude.
How do you sort through mental issues or using tools and resources like journaling to work through things - do you use any of these techniques and if not what works for you? I’d love to hear about what your experiences are in the comments below or drop me a note directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button.
The same scene of our forested area takes on a whole different look with the beauty of hoar frost in the sunlight. (EXIF data f13, 1/250s, 120mm, ISO80)
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
