Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography

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On the bookshelf
creativity, mindfulness, retirement Pamela McIntyre creativity, mindfulness, retirement Pamela McIntyre

On the bookshelf

I thought I’d do a fun post about what I’m reading as there are some interesting intersections in the books I have on the go right now. It has become a running joke with my friends what book I’m reading as I start many conversations with, “I’ve been reading this book and…..” Before I start I should come clean about a few things - like the fact that I usually have multiple books on the go at any given time - right now there are eight in varying stages of completion and my hope is to finish them before the end of the year.

I actually keep a running list of all the books on my to read list as well as those that are recommended for me to read and yes I do keep track of the ones I’ve finished. Right now there are 51 on the to read list, 23 on the recommendation list and 39 finished in 2025 (this doesn’t count the 8 outstanding).

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In the waiting
mindfulness, other, photography Pamela McIntyre mindfulness, other, photography Pamela McIntyre

In the waiting

I’ve had a very impactful few weeks where some random interactions have left their mark on me and I’ve continued to think about them long after spending time with these people. Two very good friends are having a tough time - suffering - and there is very little that I can do (I hate feeling helpless!). My first reaction/response is to try and fix it - help them - make it better, but I can’t. However, there are things that I can do like offer support - let them know I care and am thinking of them. These are small things, but maybe they matter more than the big grand gestures.

I have been sending one friend random texts of photos that I’ve taken - just something to distract her or let her know I’m thinking of her. More than anything it’s that connection - that knowing we’re not alone that I think is important. Or perhaps I’m annoying the heck out of her and she’s too Canadian to tell me to quit it - I don’t think that is likely, but the thought does occur to me.

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Paradox - Contronyms
mindfulness, creativity, other Pamela McIntyre mindfulness, creativity, other Pamela McIntyre

Paradox - Contronyms

I imagine that when some people read the title to this week’s post there were some curious or even confused looks - like where is she going with this or what the heck is she talking about now. I’ve been really enjoying some challenging reading lately which has caused my brain to stretch into different areas that I usually don’t think about or consider. This often causes me to either go around in circles, tie myself up in knots trying to work through things or figure them out - which is a good thing in my view.

I have been reading about paradox (ie., something that seems contradictory or against common thought, but may be true upon investigation) and I really like that idea - the juxtaposition of these apparently contradictory items and then curiosity leading to a mind expanding truth.

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Positivity
creativity, other, photography Pamela McIntyre creativity, other, photography Pamela McIntyre

Positivity

I can see it without anyone being here - some of you rolled your eyes when you read this week’s blog post title - positivity - yeah right - here we go again - someone spouting off about how being positive saves the world (maybe a slight exaggeration on my channeling of eye rolling thoughts), but what if there was a sliver of truth to that?

Don’t get me wrong - I’m not about forced positivity which lately seems to have earned the moniker “toxic positivity” - I don’t agree with this at all! When I’m not feeling it - I don’t “fake it until I make it” - that just doesn’t feel authentic and in fact I think it masks true emotions and blocks me from moving through them effectively.

What I mean by toxic positivity is when I’m feeling upset or angry and someone tells me to “look on the bright side”

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Expressing Emotions
other, mindfulness, wellbeing Pamela McIntyre other, mindfulness, wellbeing Pamela McIntyre

Expressing Emotions

It’s an interesting exercise - give yourself 3 minutes and list off as many emotions as you can think of - write them down. I came up with 20 before I started repeating myself - only 20! Brene Brown surveyed 7000 people and they averaged 3 emotions (anger, sadness, joy). I find this so hard to believe and yet it makes sense based upon the dysfunction I see in our society today.

As humans we are not particularly good at naming emotions let alone expressing them - I most certainly am not. Some cultures are even less proficient at openly expressing emotions than others. I have spoken in the past how I come from a family that did not encourage openly showing feelings especially “bad” feelings such as sorrow, grief, frustration, etc. - you get the gist. This actually made it quite confusing for me to understand and name what I was feeling. I really appreciate that most children today are taught to verbalize what is going on for them and use words to name what they are feeling.

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Surrender
mindfulness, other, wellbeing Pamela McIntyre mindfulness, other, wellbeing Pamela McIntyre

Surrender

I keep stumbling across the word surrender in various conversations, books and meditations and I really struggle with what this actually means to me. I feel that there is something important and of significance for me to learn which is why I keep digging in.

When I think of surrender - I think of giving in or allowing someone/something to overpower - it definitely feels like a power exchange or that I’m losing something. There is something disturbing about this that makes me feel lesser and uncomfortable. Ironically when I get out of my head and I do let go and “surrender” - especially for things outside of my control then I feel contentment, but it is usually short lived.

The word surrender is defined as yielding to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand - yikes that makes me really uncomfortable! However, when I consider this term from a more spiritual perspective, surrender isn't about giving up; it's defined as being about giving over.

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Pieces of me
wellbeing, mindfulness, other Pamela McIntyre wellbeing, mindfulness, other Pamela McIntyre

Pieces of me

This one is very personal and nerve wracking as I feel very exposed and vulnerable sharing these thoughts, but it has also been a really valuable writing exercise to work through some of these thoughts.

I have been a fan of making jigsaw puzzles for a long time - growing up I was so fascinated by the way pieces fit together that I would make the same puzzle over and over again. Adding constraints to make it more difficult - like no putting together straight edge border pieces until the centre has been completed, starting with the toughest part first and then when all of those constraints are no longer challenging there is the turn it over and make the puzzle without looking at the picture version. Everything had a place and when you chose the right pieces they fit together so well. I enjoyed figuring out how to make it all come together.

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Brain Rot
wellbeing, other Pamela McIntyre wellbeing, other Pamela McIntyre

Brain Rot

I started this blog post near the end of last year, but it got put aside as other topics piqued my interest more at the time. However, after a very stimulating conversation I found myself opening up this draft and finding it tickling my brain - a sure sign that I need to spend some time with this and mature it more.

It appears that each year the major dictionary sources identify the word of the year and in 2024 Oxford dictionary chose “brain rot”.

This is especially noted as being in relation to the low quality of online content that we consume every day. I can see this - I mean when one thinks about the amount of information that is made readily available to us on a daily basis from so many sources - wow! I spend time purposely limiting the amount and source of the content that I consume and it’s not always easy.

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The shifts in what is important
mindfulness, wellbeing, other Pamela McIntyre mindfulness, wellbeing, other Pamela McIntyre

The shifts in what is important

This recent move to the “country” (see this blog post) really highlighted for me that I have made some significant shifts in what is important (as has Kory). We identified the values that are important to us when we started seriously searching for a new home. Nature, a less busy location, space and places to walk were the things that we identified as being important.

Our previous home was located within walking distance of downtown Calgary in a lovely neighbourhood that was close to coffee shops and grocery stores. There was a vibe of busy urban

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Contemplations
other, mindfulness, wellbeing Pamela McIntyre other, mindfulness, wellbeing Pamela McIntyre

Contemplations

I have recently finished listening to an audible book called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby who experienced a life changing stroke and ended up with a condition called “locked in syndrome”. This means that he remained mentally astute, but had no verbal capabilities or movement save being able to blink his left eyelid and minor head movement. The book was dictated by Bauby over a two month period by blinking his left eye and using a special alphabet template to enable him to communicate.

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