How to Tell a Good Story With My Life
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Date Day?
I know that is an odd way to start this post, but in effect that is how the idea for this whole post started. Kory and I have been working on getting out of our comfort zone a bit more and just getting out more which includes actually coming up with date night or date day ideas. Full disclosure - he excels at this so much better than I do (for example the puppet making workshop was his idea). When he suggested that we attend a workshop titled (How to Tell a Good Story With Your Life) we thought it was about writing and that it would be a cool thing to attend on a Saturday morning.
A semipilated sandpiper searching for food or reflecting on life in the early morning. (EXIF data F8, 1/250s, 600mm, ISO6400)
Boy were we wrong about the topic, but I digress. We showed up at the venue where there were about 8 or 9 other people (Kory had gone to a workshop put on by the facilitator (Val) previously and enjoyed it - a setting your intentions for the New Year sort of thing). The coffee was hot if incredibly strong and there were yummy mini muffins. We got settled and introduced ourselves to our fellow attendees while we waited for things to begin.
Once the last person came through the door we were ready to begin with some quick introductions and why we were there (this was after the facilitator jokingly said, “if you think this is about writing you’re in the wrong workshop”) - so I jokingly said that I was there because this is date day - silence - hmmmm interesting - guess that didn’t land as lightly as I’d hoped or the ice was super thick - not sure which. Most of the rest of the attendees were artists, actors or poets and single (i.e., attending on their own) - we were the only couple and Kory was one of only 3 men. Not sure if that had anything to do with my badly landed comment or not!
Getting into the theme of the day
I should have taken my cue from the last workshop Kory had done with this facilitator and realized it might be something along similar lines. A day spent exploring the way we live our lives and what that says about us - i.e., do our actions align with our values, dreams, goals? In fact Val (the facilitator) stated quite accurately that the story we’re living is telling those around us what is important to us - the real question is whether that is what we want our story to be or not?
There were a lot of self reflection type of exercises such as coming up with ten words to tell your story - that’s a tough one! Oh and do it in 2 minutes. Mine came out as:
“Jack” racing along the edge of our yard makes me curious about where he is headed. (EXIF data 77.1, 1/500s, 600mm, ISO1250)
Retired, Youngest, Travel, Books, Active, Animals, Photography, Words, Connection, and Camping (I sort of panicked towards the end and started writing down the first words that came into my brain).
I think if I were to redo this exercise I would come up with the following:
Explorer, Retired, Words, Creative, Connection, Wellness, Relationships, Nature, Curiosity, Growth
These words reflect more of my story and not just what pops into my mind in 2 minutes. I feel that I’ve spent my life as an explorer - exploring places as I love to travel and learn about local cultures, history and stories, exploring ideas and ways of doing things which really was my whole working career, and exploring new thoughts and ideas which is what I’ve been doing with Kory since we met.
I am retired and living my life in a different way which reflects my ability to reinvent myself and find joy and contentment in any circumstance.
Words are clearly incredibly important to me in terms of expressing myself, understanding others and learning/reading which goes back to the exploring theme again.
I love the painterly feel to this ICM (intentional camera movement) image. (ME/ICM 3 exposures overlayed in Photoshop. f18, 1/6s, 24mm, ISO64)
Creative - I am a very creative person and I keep finding new ways of expressing my creativity through photography and other ways (so glad that I own this part of me again).
Connection is such a fundamental part of me - my relationship with Kory is a foundational piece of my connection, but there are my connections with family and important friends (in some ways my enduring extended non traditional family) - all of which brings a depth and richness to my life.
I feel that the way I live demonstrates that wellness and wellbeing is vitally important to me and I seek new ways of making sure that I’m investing in my wellness and that of those I care for deeply.
The curiosity to learn about different birds like this tufted puffin leads me to seek more knowledge. (EXIF data f8, 1/1200s, 840mm, ISO400)
I used the word relationships because while connection is important to me - I feel that I am a person who values relationships - I’m very introverted and so it takes me some time to connect with people. As a result the relationships that I have may be few, but they tend to be deep and span long periods of time.
Nature is a key facet of my story as I am fascinated with the natural world around me - I love to observe and learn about the world around me and that fits in well with my explorer side.
I love the word curiosity and I think it is a big part of my story - I have a detective side to me that likes to unravel mysteries and figure out things - curiosity leads me to all sorts of new and compelling information that enriches my life and my story.
Above all the other words that tell my story I think that growth is perhaps the most important. It shows that I am not one to sit back and think that I know all that I need to know - I continue to see my world expanding and getting richer the more that I grow. I am continually growing in my relationship with Kory and with those close to me as well as within myself - this is what makes life rich and I believe my story one worth reading - at the very least one worth living.
A Compelling Story
When we think about story and what makes a compelling story - we often think hero and conflict and some sort of transformation or growth. In fact it is similar when we think about what makes a compelling photograph - it starts with intentionality - thinking of what you’re trying to say or get across to the person viewing the image and then using the photographic tools and resources available to us in order to provide tension, transition or highlighting certain elements that create an experience for the viewer and communicates our thoughts or feelings.
Images that tell a story contain conflict and tension like this mama grizzly bear catching salmon from the stream as she tries to teach her cub how it’s done. (EXIF data f6.3, 600mm, 1/250s, ISO1200).
We were asked to think about our life and whether it makes a compelling story - would anyone be inspired or even interested in reading our tale? I find this thought somewhat disturbing as I would like to think that anyone’s life is worth learning about, but I also understand the premise of the workshop. It’s to get people to think about how they’re living their life and whether there is anything holding them back from living their best life.
I’m not sure if it’s a matter of age or where I’m at in my life, however I honestly don’t believe that I’d like to have lived my life any differently. I’m content with where I am at and I feel that I have all sorts of opportunities to continue to explore and grow in my current life.
What I did like about the workshop was the questions about values and whether I’m living my life according to my values. I think that I make efforts to ensure that my actions are aligned with my values, but I also know that there are times when my actions deviate from my values and this is what often causes me internal conflict or disquiet. I wrote about how I handle this conflict in this blog post.
One of the takeaways from the workshop was the encouragement to really dig deep into our defining our values - distill them down to 10 values and from there narrow it down to 3 key values. Out of the three choose one to focus on for the next 6 - 12 months or longer. I like this approach because it is difficult to work on too many things at once and I prefer the dig in and get messy approach with something in order to make impactful change or see meaningful change. I made a decision to focus on curiosity which aligns with my most important value and the way that I am trying to show up in my life.
How do I want to be remembered?
The vibrant colours of this image make it difficult to identify those small elements that change the way this scene is viewed. Multiple exposure of 3 images merged in Photoshop.
The last part of the morning was spent in reflection of how we’d like to be remembered - in fact we were encouraged to think about what we’d like people to say at our funeral. It’s an interesting idea - sort of a reverse engineering approach - think of what you’d like to be remembered for and the type of person you’d like people to remember you as and then reflect on how you’re currently living your life. If you died tomorrow - would the things you’d like to be remembered for be what people are talking about or are you living in a way that will make this happen?
If not then there is an opportunity to identify what needs to change (either your actions or what you want to be remembered for). I think that sitting down and writing your eulogy is not a bad idea - I’ve done it before and it was an interesting exercise. It really helped me get clarity around what I believe is important and I can guarantee that I didn’t list a lot of the things that were taking up a good chunk of my time. As a result of this exercise I started to focus on reconnecting with some friends and family where I had let connection lapse. I also began to focus on taking better care of myself and treating myself as I would my best friend.
These small changes helped me to feel more energized and content about the way I was living my life. Val encouraged us to identify 5 small things that I could do tomorrow that would help to move me towards living my best life - not a bad idea for anyone to take this challenge on.
Date Day Rating
While date day didn’t go quite as either one of us anticipated, I can confidently say that we did get something out of spending the time together and contemplating some bigger questions about our lives and the way we’re living them. I’m pretty happy to say that both of us realized that we’re living our lives the way we’d like to and that there are some minor tweaks that we can make to make them even more meaningful. That’s a pretty positive outcome in my mind.
Having said that - I don’t suspect that Kory’s going to be writing his eulogy anytime soon - it’s just a hunch.
Have you ever signed up for something that turned out very different than you expected? If so I’d love to hear about it in the comments below or drop me a note directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button. That way I won’t feel quite so out there after this experience.
I want to be remembered as an optimistic person who cares about others and loves nature. (EXIF data ICM f18, 1/3s, 24mm, ISO64).
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
