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What is courage?
Courage is often defined as the ability to tolerate and be with the discomfort of fear, or put a simpler way, feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I was thinking that there are degrees of courage or perhaps there are circumstances where someone overcomes a greater challenge, but when I dig in deeper I think that I’m confusing bravery with courage. When I looked up the meaning of the words and contrasted them, there seemed to be one clear differentiating aspect - forethought or intent. Bravery is more about taking action without thinking about the consequences or not fearing the consequences, whereas courage is taking action after giving thought to the consequences and feeling the fear, but being intent on still taking the action. There is an implication that courage is about wrestling with personal demons, acknowledging them, but not letting them rule or limit our actions.
When I consider courageous acts for myself I would also include things that are risky or dangerous - where I am aware of the risks or dangers which I can’t completely mitigate, but I am determined to move forward in spite of them. (obviously I’m not talking about life threatening risks here). There is also the courage to follow the path less travelled. There is something scary about forging out in a different direction into the unknown and yet that is usually the direction of greatest achievement and growth. Following the crowd rarely yields the sort of personal growth that I seem to be seeking..
Capturing autumn colours in a non traditional way isn’t particularly courageous, however it is different. (EXIF data f16, 200mm, 1/15s, ISO100)
I think that for me an important demonstration of courage is getting back up and trying again after failing - especially when others are watching me. It’s about overcoming that inherent worry about what others think about me as well as getting over the fear of failure - possibly an emerging bigger worry is a fear of the future and things that I can’t control.
I know I’m being vague and circling around this - usually that means I’m feeling uncomfortable with where my thoughts are going and I’m trying to create a diversion or distraction - hoping that my brain will take the bait and go down a different rabbit hole, but somehow that isn’t happening right now.
What is Occupying Space in My Brain Right Now?
There are a few key themes that have been bugging me in 2025 and 2026 and I’ve been wrestling with them on and off - feelings of disappointment and overwhelm - possibly they are related. I’ve talked about the feelings of overwhelm that occurred with some regularity during the renovations of 2024 and 2025, however I’ve continued to have similar feelings into this year as well. At first I started figuring out that disappointment was really having expectations about a situation or person that did not play out the way I envisioned. Every time I allow the stories in my head to weave an expected scenario or outcome, I can almost guarantee that I’m setting myself up for disappointment.
Those feelings of disappointment can lead to overwhelm when I allow myself to be flooded with emotions, but really it is about having a wave of fear wash over me before I can take the time to think through the situation or take action. Fear - ohhhh that feels like I’ve hit on something very uncomfortable. I’m actually fidgeting in my seat - not wanting to sit in these feelings of discomfort.
I’ve been reading a book by Henri Nouwen and he talks about the negative power of fear as well as its ability to control most of our choices and decisions when we give in to that negative power. The negative power of fear seems to be primarily about alienation (isolation) and scarcity.
“When fear pervades our lives, we are living in the house of fear, and from there we look out on the world. What we see from that perch of fear is alienation and scarcity. “ - Henri Nouwen (Spiritual Formation)
Gazing out from the shadows feels like isolation - slowing down and leaning into the discomfort can reveal some startling truths. (EXIF data f4, 200mm, 1/250s, ISO200)
This makes a lot of sense to me because when I let go of fear and lean into connection and feelings of self compassion, it feels like my world expands and the positive feelings inside also expand. Fear on the other hand causes my world to feel like it contracts - becomes small and filled with shadows and isolation. Looking into those shadows and sitting with feelings of discomfort takes time (slowing down from busy-ness), intention and risk (courage).
Changing Direction
For me, exercising courage means diving in while knowing there are risks that things won’t turn out as desired/expected - that there is no guarantee about the outcome and that failure is a definite possibility. It also means being willing to change direction despite the possible risks. I am not a big risk taker, however when I have made that leap of faith it has been worthwhile. I either find myself in a phase of wonderful growth and accomplishment, deep learnings when things don’t go as expected which also leads to growth, or somewhere in between ( sometimes a good outcome and sometimes just learnings from unexpected results).
A rhinosoraus auklet having the courage to attempt a challengeing fully loaded take off when other birds are honing in on his catch. (EXIF data f7.1, 600mm, 1/1250s, ISO800)
I also find that exercising courage doesn’t necessarily have to mean some grand gesture or big experience - sometimes small things require courageousness and shifts in direction. I think in the past I’ve used the analogy of a big cruise ship or airplane changing course - it only takes a slight course adjustment to end up in a completely different location. The initial change may seem small or even invisible, but the endpoint can be a massive change.
“The most common human responses to a new moment are mistrust, cynicism, fear, knee-jerk reactions, a spirit of dismissal, and overriding judgementalism. It is so discouraging when we have the courage to finally see that these are the common ways that the ego tries to be in control of the data instead of allowing the moment to get some control over us - and teach us something new!” - Richard Rohr (Just This)
Moving Outside My Comfort Zone
One of the most impactful scenarios I learned about when I joined Biceps After Babies (the Macros Counting Group) was about growth and my comfort zone. A graphic of me sitting inside a square box was used to illustrate me within my comfort zone. I like the image and how it represented strong boundaries and me being able to move freely within the boundaries without risk or possible failures - yes definitely within my comfort zone. The next graphic had the stick person (me) sitting outside of the square box in this area with no boundaries - just empty wide open space. Even looking at the graphic made me feel uncomfortable, however the point was that in order to make change or to grow - I had to move outside of the cushy comforting boundaries of my comfort zone into the scary wide open space of the beyond the comfort zone area. There were risks in making these moves in that the success or outcome was not guaranteed and that it takes courage to be aware of that and make the move outside my comfort zone anyway.
The upside of making that move is that after a period of time the boundaries of my comfort zone expanded to engulf me again - the space got bigger and I was now free to move comfortably around a bigger area. I had experienced growth and a new feeling of achievement in a bigger arena.
Photographing grand landscapes and waterfalls in Iceland was definitely outside of my comfort zone photographically. (EXIF data f16, 24mm, 1/30s, ISO400)
I really like this idea of what it takes to grow my comfort zone and expand my abilities and feelings of comfort - I also like the idea that the boundaries of my comfort zone are fluid and not rigid. They can move and morph and change to support where I am at which feels refreshing and liberating - not confining and suffocating as a rigid boundary might feel.
What drives me to continually feel like I want to push the boundaries of my comfort zone and enter phases of growth?
Growth
I think that I rebel against the idea of stagnation. Staying the same may feel safe and familiar, however it also feels boring and limiting to me. I love to push myself to see how much I can do or learn or think or feel - this feels like an important part of my life and it is directly related to growth. When I started progressive overload strength training it was with an intention of building strength and endurance to be able to continue to do the things that I enjoy well into my senior years. What I found instead was so much more. I get such an increase in joy and sense of accomplishment when I am able to lift weights that several years ago felt beyond me. I like how my muscles feel tired after a workout and then a couple of days later I am feeling strong and ready to take on new challenges.
Sometimes I’m surprised by what I discover when I move outside of my comfort zone (Long eared owl in the forest behind our home). (EXIF data f7.1, 200mm, 1/1250, ISO400)
I especially love how I am not hesitant or resistant to trying to lift heavy things - I often surprise myself with how easy I am able to lift things that previously would have been impossible. I feel like I know my limits better now, but I’m also willing to continue to test them all the same.
This feels like my world is expanding and growing which is a very powerful feeling when I’m getting to a time in my life where it feels like I’m not taken as seriously, or my thoughts and ideas are often dismissed as old and outdated by much younger people. I am feeling strong and vital - that doesn’t rely on anyone else’s opinion or validation. It’s a powerful feeling and one that takes courage to explore and continue to expand.
Feeling Strong
I enjoy testing the boundaries of my life and exercising courage when I feel like I’m limiting myself. The intention required to assess the risks and do it anyway in order to experience growth feels very empowering to me.
Do you feel courageous in your life? What actions do you take when you’re feeling fear or a desire to stay within the safe boundaries of your comfort zone? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below or send me a message directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button.
There’s a beautiful mysterious world out there if we’re willing to explore the shadows and paths less travelled. (EXIF data f6.3, 200mm, 1/300s, ISO200)
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
