Community
(click on images to view them full size)
Physical Communities.
I was challenged recently to think about the communities I have lived in and the communities that I have passed through. What were some key characteristics of them and how did I feel being in them?
There are so many different kinds of communities that are linked to geographical circumstances and cultural practices. In North America where we have so much space there are communities that are spread wide apart with lots of space between properties - providing privacy, but also isolation. People with garages behind their homes or attached to them have the further challenge that they can enter and exit their abode without having to come in contact with anyone. Contrast this with other neighbourhoods where people live in row houses or condos with communal walls or floors/ceilings. There can be a definite lack of privacy, but also more interaction and community. There are also new communities being built around communal green spaces to encourage interactions.
Pete, our resident pheasant has decided to create community for his lady loves around this abandoned bird house which makes a great roosting spot for him to crow. (EXIF data f6.3, 600mm, 1/1250, ISO8000).
In the UK and Europe where cities are older and space is at a premium the living spaces are much more condensed and communal living is more the norm than the exception. Communities are built around green spaces and market squares - there is an energy and buzz about the interactions in these communities. Albeit sometimes it can feel too close.
Recently, I was driving through a nearby community and I was enchanted by the meandering hiking paths through the community - it seemed like there were links connecting all sorts of different spaces. However not far beyond the hiking trail signs were large intimidating Private Residence - Keep Out signs on every front lawn. This was definitely not an inviting space and in fact it confused me - what was the message? Walk freely through this neighbourhood and explore - or don’t!
Living in the Country
Where I live now there is a lot of space between houses and it is more of an effort to connect and chat with neighbours. I can go days without seeing or talking to my neighbours - not necessarily a situation I enjoy.
I have found that when we walk in our neighbourhood there seems to be ample opportunity for stopping and chatting with people along the way - especially in the summer months. This seems to be one specific cultural norm within our neighbourhood. In fact I’d say that there seems to be more willingness for people to stop and chat than when we lived in a more densely populated neighbourhood closer to the downtown area.
I like the casual and friendly nature of our current community where people wave as they pass each other, but I still asked myself (as I was challenged to do) - How will I respond to the circumstances of my neighbourhood - what sort of community do I want and how will I contribute to making it that way?
These are great questions and it has made me reflect on how I show up in my community. When Kory and I made the decision to move to the country it was with a desire and expectation to live in a more close knit community. We now realize that many of the folks who live here have been around for decades and they’ve had children grow up in this community - a circumstance that makes it easier for people to connect.
Living in the country requires intentionality to create connection and prevent feelings of isolation. (EXIF data f3.5, 105mm, 1/60s, ISO8000)
We want to make our home a place of meeting and gathering - a place of rest and care for those who visit and stay. We have gone to great lengths to establish a place that is cozy and comfortable - relaxed and not too perfect or precious - a place where people will feel comfortable to spend time.
I keep coming back to the question that if I want this home and this community to be that experience of my dreams - then I need to play a stronger role making this happen - it’s got me thinking.
Non-physical Communities
Of course there are the communities we form without physical structures like houses and neighbourhoods. Groups or gatherings of people with likeminded interests or some common ground that brings them together. These are more flexible communities that ebb and flow, but have similar cultural norms as physical neighbourhoods.
Digital age non physical communities can be important, but are often difficult to maintain. (EXIF data iPhone image).
I have been part of all sorts of groups from work to technical to recreational connections and each one has had a key distinguishing feature - they only thrive as long as there are people who want to put in the effort to keep them going. I must admit that there are times when I’ve been the person driving the formation and sustainment of these groups and there have been other times when I’ve let them implode without making the effort required to keep them going (sometimes with much regret when they are no longer around).
I think that these communities have to have a purpose or some form of meaning and connection to make their existence of sufficient value to the members so that the effort has a pay off - especially with the busy complicated lives many people live these days.
I’ve asked myself what I want to get out of these communities and whether I’m putting in the effort that I could to help them to thrive and be the sort of community I want.
Unfamiliar Communities
I have found myself in unfamiliar communities both on a temporary and semi permanent basis - places that have not felt welcoming - where I have not felt like I belong or even not safe. I wonder if the people who live in these communities realize the vibe that is generated and felt by outsiders. Is this what they aspire to have their community represent?
I recall when Kory and I moved to Aberdeen, Scotland for a 4 year period. At first I was filled with excitement and anticipation of living in a new location and being able to explore and discover new places. One would think that moving to an English speaking country with a strong connection to Canada would make it easy, but it wasn’t. Everything felt foreign and it was draining to do the simplest things at first (who would have ever thought that a garbage bag is a bin liner or molasses is treacle when you’re searching for them in the grocery store?) - even figuring out the currency was a challenge (doing mental acrobatics to figure out exchange rates). One thing we did that I now appreciate (despite the difficulties at the time) was to live in a local community rather than in an “expat” community. Our neighbours were local people who had history and community whereas the expat communities could have been situated anywhere in the world and seemed like little USA’s with a very transient nature to them as people were only posted in these locations on a temporary basis.
We learned much more quickly once we started to make friends with our neighbours - we were welcomed into their homes and their community as we put ourselves out there and made it clear we were hoping to learn from them and add to their community on their terms (i.e., not try to make it a little island of Canada in Scotland).
Mountain bluebirds make temporary communities as they nest each year. (EXIF data f5.6, 400mm, 1/1250s, ISO250).
We’ve taken this practice with us when we travel - preferring to stay in rental properties rather than hotels or all inclusive. The experience is much different and we learn so much more about local habits. I recall spending Christmas in an old stone farmhouse on the island of Gozo where we ended up stopping in a local pizza place a few days before Christmas. We struck up a great conversation with the owner who was slow roasting his turkey in the vast stone pizza oven. He had relatives who moved to Eastern Canada and somehow that link formed a bond and allowed us to make a great connection.
These experiences change our perspective of the community and provide a different view of the world outside of our immediate neighbourhood.
How can I be community?
What I’ve recognized is that to form the type of home and community that I want to be part of - that I have been dreaming of - I need to be an active participant in its shaping. I cannot be an introvert standing on the sidelines hoping for the type of community I’ve envisioned - I need to be in the midst - reaching out and making it happen. Pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and really getting out there and being vulnerable to generate the type of atmosphere and community I am looking for. Let’s see what next step I make to realize this vision.
Have you ever worked to develop a community (physical or non physical) and found some challenges to overcome? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below or reach out to me directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button.
The lost villages on Haida Gwaii are remembered and brought to life by new generations who have intention to create community. (EXIF data f7.1, 1/80s, 400mm, ISO1200).
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
