Being Present, What and How We See
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What does being fully present mean to me?
I feel like this term gets thrown around a lot these days and in some ways it is losing its impact and meaning for me from overuse or casual use. A google definition of being fully present states that your mind, body and emotions are completely engaged in the present moment, but what does that mean exactly? To me it means that I’m not allowing distractions to take over the moment - I’m aware enough to know when my mind starts to wander and I can effectively bring myself back to the moment. I think for me that is the distinction - when I hear some people talk about being fully present, I get a sense that they are implying that you can totally block out everything but the present moment and I don’t think that as humans we’re wired to do that - at least I’m certainly not.
The chaos of birds heading to roost for the night is much like my distracted thoughts when I try to force my mind to clear. (EXIF data f6.3, 600mm, 1/500s, ISO800, -1EV)
There are so many inputs - both internal and external that act as a means of distracting our attention, so to me being present is being aware of those distractions and being intentional about not following where they lead. Redirecting my attention back to the present moment - whether that means doing it once or 100 times (usually it’s closer to 100 times).
There is a quality to being intentionally present that seemed much easier to achieve when we were in Zambia . For instance, there was the evening when we went to visit the Baobab Forest in South Luangwa - what a mystical place - such amazing positive energy emanated from these trees. After we spent several hours among the trees and watched the last rays of sunlight disappear below the horizon, we made our way back to camp. It was dark and I mean pitch dark with hardly a sliver of a moon in the sky, but there were stars aplenty - thousands and thousands of them. At one point we turned off the vehicle and sat in silence looking up - feeling the slight chill in the winter air. Talk about being present - among that immense sky and the sounds of the bush settling into nighttime routines - it was amazing and took my breath away. No one seemed to want to break the spell of the silence - that is what being fully present feels like to me.
Catching the last rays of sunlight in the Baobab Forest. (EXIF data iPhone image)
How I see things.
For me being fully present also is about how I see things - by this I mean what catches my attention and how I perceive what I’m seeing - what meaning I attach to it. I find it interesting to note what catches my attention versus what catches someone elses’. It is often so very different.
I am sometimes asked what settings or lens I used to capture an image and I understand that it can be useful when you’re learning the technical side of your camera, but there is almost an infinite number of settings for any given image and if I were to set up my camera the same as the person next to me, I would likely not be able to reproduce their image - it can be a starting point, but I find that we all interpret this information in different ways.
I really appreciate the quote below from Richard Rohr’s book Just This. I think that I really see more of my inner self represented in my photographs. Many people think of taking photographs as being about documenting what you see (which it definitely can be), however for me it feels like something much deeper than that. I’m not trying to get all high brow and fine artsy here, I’m trying to articulate what it feels like for me when I bring my camera to my eye - how I have been captured by the spell of being able to translate what I see in my mind into an image - it’s clearly intoxicating and addictive for me.
A delicate lilac breasted roller bird resting before taking flight - taken at midday with harsh light, but against a shaded background - I saw the details of this beauty and everything else faded away for me. (EXIF data f6.3, 600mm, 1/3200, ISO400, -1.7EV)
What I see, how I interpret it, how I frame the image, the choices I make with camera settings (aperture, shutter speed etc.) all contribute to the end product of what I capture in the image - however for me it’s a few steps beyond that. To me photography is more about showing parts of me than it is about documenting something - it’s about seeing a scene and feeling a connection to what I see and then finding a way to capture what I see in my mind on the camera - often that internal vision does not exactly match what I see in front of me.
I have found that my photography has evolved quite a bit over the last few years to be more about a reflection of my inner world and I find that I am expressing more vulnerability in my images than I have in the past when I allow myself to be open to trying to capture that vision.
“What we are able to see, and are predisposed to see, in the outer world is a mirror reflection of our inner world and state of consciousness at that time. Most of the time, we just do not see at all, but rather operate on cruise control. We project ourselves onto outer things and these very things also reflect back to us our unfolding identity.” Richard Rohr Just This
I have recently started editing the many images Kory and I took in Zambia (link to gallery) and I have found it interesting to note that in many scenes we took such vastly different images despite being at the same sighting and being presented with the same subjects and lighting. What caught each of our eyes and attention varied greatly and I think that reflects more about what is important to each of us and what is going on inside - I find this fascinating!.
Black and white image of a mother baboon and her young one - I was captured by the look of dependence in the little one’s eyes and how the grasses seemed to curl around them and protect the mama as her arms protected the little one. (EXIF data f6.3, 600mm, 1/1250s, ISO400, -1.3EV)
This got me to thinking about how different people can experience the same thing and yet come away with vastly different interpretations of that experience. My view of the world is more a projection of my experiences and inner world - therefore it makes sense that my photographic images (ones that have great meaning to me) are a reflection of my inner world as well - they tell more of my story than the photograph’s subject.
A Lion Sighting
This got me thinking about a particular sighting we had in South Luangwa - a pride of lions (4 females and a male) were found resting in the middle of the afternoon - the male with a very distended stomach was lying in the shade beside a half eaten zebra carcass and two of the females were eyeing the kill they had made as they laid in the heat of the sun (he was clearly well fed and they were hungry). One female got up to move into the shade and the male immediately roared and lunged at her - this dude was not sharing the bounty with anyone.
As we spent time with this group of lions over the course of several hours it was interesting to note what everyone was focused on. Kory was looking around and finding novel ways to photograph the lions - a vulture in the foreground with an out of focus lioness in the background eyeing him up. Michael (our Photographic Guide) was busy trying to photograph a jumping spider that had landed on the back of the seat in front of him (clearly he has spent way too many hours waiting for lions to do something interesting). In contrast I was looking at the lions when out of the corner of my eye I saw something moving - it turned out to be an African Harrier Hawk - I swiftly pivoted in my seat and started panning with the bird as it glided by - taking burst of photos to capture the in flight grace of this raptor.
Michael’s macro image of a jumping spider in the midst of a lion sighting. (image courtesy of M. Laubscher)
When I dig into this a bit deeper and put on my “Pam is making up stories about other people hat” - something I just love to do - I come up with all sorts of interesting interpretations. As I have mentioned, Michael has been in hundreds of lion sightings such as this one where not much is happening. My knowledge of his backstory is that he has just embarked on his own business (Wiilder Escapes) and during this trip I noticed that he is very focused on details - perhaps a reflection of where he is at internally. Not wanting to miss any detail that will help him be successful in this business - focusing on the little ways that he can add value to guests’ experiences - so it made sense that he focused on the jumping spider and noticed all of the intricate details of its eyes and movements. The challenge of capturing that spider seemed to be a reflection of his internal challenge of conquering a new business venture.
Kory is a great storyteller and it is reflected in his images. (image courtesy of K. McIntyre)
Kory is all about taking it all in - the wonder of the world around him. I am often amazed by what he sees and how he views the world - there is something about his perspective that reminds me of the awe and wonder we all seemed to have as a child - he retains much of that ability into adulthood and it is reflected in what he sees and captures. He sees not only the details of what is in front of him, but also what is in the shadows and what might develop - he’s a great story teller and it’s reflected in his images as well.
American Harrier Hawk flying into the late day sun. (EXIF data f6.3, 1/1250s, 600mm, ISO600, -1EV)
Me. Where am I? Internally I am on a quest and have been since I retired - I am peeling back the layers that I have built up over the years to encase and protect me, but which no longer serve that purpose. I feel like I am releasing something deep inside and letting it see the light of day again - freeing and soaring far above where I have been keeping myself small and enclosed. I think that explains my recent fascination with birds and especially birds in flight - I have spent a lot of time trying to find ways to capture the feeling I have when I see that burst of energy that propels them into the air and then the graceful beat of wings that makes them soar. No wonder the seemingly lazy low energy lions did not capture my attention and I was diverted by the soaring African Harrier Hawk.
Three people at the same sighting and three different perspectives - three different views of what caught their attention. No one right or wrong - just focused on what drew them. I have heard it said that there is nothing new to photograph, but I think that is very limiting - there may not be any new subjects or perspectives, however I think there are new ways of capturing parts of ourselves in our images and that is definitely unique. As long as we’re willing to be open and vulnerable to capture some part of ourselves in the moment - I think there are many unique images left to make (at least that is what I tell myself to motivate me to continue shooting).
A lioness peering out from amongst the long grasses. I loved the soft feel to this image and her almost sublime expression as she sniffed the air. (EXIF data f4.5, 400mm, 1/1250s, ISO600, -1EV).
The Focused Life
Michael’s macro image of the jumping spider - so focused. (courtesy of M. Laubscher)
I have found that being present and focusing on what captures my attention (Freeman Patterson said it so well at a retreat I attended - Follow the Energy Flow) and then just letting the moments flow - not overthinking or trying to force something results in the best experience and images. Sometimes it is just a feeling that I’m following and I’m not exactly sure why I’m so intrigued by a scene or a subject, but if I keep following the energy flow I seem to be able to eventually unravel things to the point of understanding what I’m trying to express. That is such a wonderful moment - when things become clear and I suddenly understand what I’m chasing - then the real magic begins and I feel like I’m really connecting with what I’m seeing - my camera becomes an extension of me - a tool - a way to express what is driving me forward.
That intentionality seems to release something inside me - it allows me to let go of being in my head and overthinking things. I become so energized and invigorated in ways that aren’t there when I am less intentional. When I take my camera out and start snapping images of anything - being on autopilot and making the session more about taking photos than really seeing something.
How We Each See The World
I continue to be fascinated by the way we each see the world differently and that through those interpretations we focus on different things or even see different things. There is a joy to be found in the variety of views we each have of this world we spend time in. How boring would it be if we all saw the same things in the same ways with the same interpretations.
Are you able to be fully present and if so how do you manage to stay focused? Does it matter if your mind wanders? Do you have a way of bringing yourself back on track? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments or reach out to me directly by clicking on the Connect With Me button.
Giraffe silhouetted against a setting sun. (EXIF data f7.1, 1/800s, 600mm, ISO800, -1.3EV)
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
