Modern Day Reality (belated Birthday post)
(click on images to view them full size)
How I remember birthdays.
Interestingly enough I wrote this back when I was celebrating my 62nd birthday and then somehow didn’t post it and forgot about it. I keep a library of blog topics, partially completed blogs and completed ones in the queue to be posted, so I suppose it’s not odd that this got overlooked. There must have been other items I felt were more relevant to post at the time, but when I went through my list of blog posts - this one resonated with me and I decided to dust it off and update it to post now. Full disclosure - I am absolutely terrible at remembering birthdays - I barely remember my own!
New Year’s party favours. EXIF data f4.5, 50mm, 1/200s, ISO400
I can always recall talking to people who are born either just before Christmas or in between Christmas and New Years - they invariably always complained about how they got ripped off in the gift department. People would either combine their presents or go big with one occasion and then scale back the other one considerably. Birthday celebrations always seemed to feel not enough to those I spoke with.
Well my birthday is not around Christmas - in fact I just recently celebrated my birthday (ok 6 months ago) - my 63rd to be exact and it was a wonderful day. However, I recall feeling similar to those Christmas season babies. Quite often my birthday wasn’t celebrated because we were usually away camping and that was my present - I suppose I wasn’t supposed to question how the rest of the family got to go on the same camping trip and not have it be their birthday present (ok I was only 5 or 6 at the time) - I might have been a bit self-centred at that age.
Even if we had been at home it was tough to get people together for a birthday party as many others were away on vacations or getting ready to go back to school. At the time I felt a bit hard done by.
The irony of modern birthdays
On the morning of my 63rd birthday I had a bit of a laugh when I woke up and was greeted with birthday wishes. My wonderful husband likes to make a big deal out of the day and there was a lovely card waiting for me to open it and I had other lovely cards from friends and family, but I also had a number (more than 6) of well wishes and cards from automated services - that is from businesses I have patronized this past year.
Birthday wishes. (EXIF data iPhone image)
Now I suppose if no one remembered my birthday it might feel nice to get those greetings, but I suspected they weren’t heartfelt or even recognized by the person I did business with. One in particular was rather funny because there was even an incentive to celebrate my day in style with a bonus discount if I spent over $100 - for something I didn’t want or need….hmmmm….
I don’t want to be cynical, however it seems a bit odd that we use an annual celebration to try and drum up more business. Since when did my life events become a marketing vehicle.
Meaningful connection
Connection is a fundamental human need. EXIF data iPhone image
I’ve written before about how connection is so important to us as humans. Even introverts can feel isolated and alone without meaningful connection - I don’t think that resorting to having annonymous “friends” counts as connection.
One of my favourite photographers and philosophers/writers is Sean Tucker. I find that much of what he writes about resonates with me because I too am an introvert (I’ve written about it here). I’ve learned over time not to apologize or feel that there is something wrong with me because I prefer quiet and introspection over outgoing activities.
Sean recently produced a Zine (electronic magazine) about his move from London to a small rural village in Yorkshire. Part of his desire to make this move was to live a quieter and more peaceful life, but he has found that ironically this move has revealed different aspects of his character that he didn’t identify with and also a sense of loneliness and need for connection.
It’s a false assumption a lot of us make; that if we identify as an introvert that we don’t need people around as much as others do. However, introverts get lonely too, and of course we need friendship, companionship and community. All human beings do. (Sean Tucker - Parable 4 Going Rural)
I had a similar epiphany when I retired and recognized that when I was working I had so many more social interactions each day that I took for granted.
My move to the country
It is interesting to me that I have made a parallel move to the country to be closer to nature and find some peace and quiet. I looked forward to slowing down and enjoying the more relaxed pace of life. After retiring almost four years ago now, I have come to realize that connection is very important for me. I love the quiet solitude, but I need that meaningful connection with friends and family.
So how did I feel on my 63rd birthday? I felt wonderful - I felt mentally and physically strong - I felt content and I felt connected. I find myself making more effort than I ever have to stay in touch with people who mean a great deal to me. Whether this is a text, phone call or visit - it is important for me to build this time into my day.
This move to the country has been good for me and I find pleasure in the smallest inconsequential things. For example, a highlight of my birthday was watching my cat Roxy devour a squeezie treat. It also rained on my birthday - I mean really rained - like 40mm (almost 2”) of rain, but that didn’t dampen my spirits (sorry for the pun). I found that this was a great excuse for me to just chill and relax - something that has been in short supply lately.
At the end of the day I felt refreshed and recharged - oh and those anonymous friendly birthday wishes with bonus discounts included? I did a pass on them and picked up the phone to chat with some real friends and have some meaningful connection.
Multiple exposure of redpolls flying with the rising sun backlighting their wings. (3 image collage using PhotoShop)
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
